February 24, 2006--Fanaticisms XXIII--No Sex Please, We're Kansans

What’s the Matter With Kansas jumped to the top of the best seller list shortly after George Bush was reelected. Liberals like me wanted to understand how he managed to defeat John Kerry when it was so obvious that Kerry, though he ran an inept campaign, was the superior choice. We were told it was all about “values,” that conservatives, especially Evangelicals, voted in disproportionate numbers because the preferred Bush’s values. The book would help us understand.

It looked at the state of Kansas as a microcosm of Red State America, where cynical Republican politicians pandered to Kansan’s traditional values. Telling them they would pass constitutional amendments against gay marriage, prayer in public schools, and flag burning, while in fact ignoring these issues (except to talk about them) but not those that they really cared about—tax cuts for the rich, out of control pork barrel spending, and of course foreign adventures such as waging war in Iraq. The theory went that Kansans were so obsessed with homosexuality that they would overlook the fact that their political representatives were selling out their economic and class interests.

As with so much conventional wisdom this turns out not to be true—what’s really wrong with Kansas, and why they are so crazy there, is that their leaders are trying to limit sexually activity in Kansas itself. And I’m not talking about gay sex. A federal trial is underway there that, if successful, would require anyone under age 16 who engages in consensual, heterosexual activity to report such activity to state authorities. I’m not making this up—check the article linked below from the NY Times.

And we’re not just talking about sexual intercourse—the law at issue also covers “lewd fondling or touching done with the intent to arouse.” They’re talking about my adolescence here! If these were against the law in Brooklyn when I was growing up, along with all of my friends, I would have spent ages 14 to 16 in the slammer.

And so would 50 percent of Kansas teenagers if they are like everyone else in America—national studies show that 30 percent of teenagers under 16 have had intercourse (that should send them away for five years) and an additional 20 percent have “experimented” with oral sex or genital fondling (18 moths for that).

Those pushing for this federal ruling claim that if teenagers engage in this “illegal sexual activity” (and it is currently illegal in Kansas) it will lead to depression and mental illness.

Actually, perhaps the opposite is true—that unless these kids are allowed to do some fondling they’ll turn to drugs and who knows what else to help them get through the day. Then who will Kansans vote for?