December 4, 2006--Suicide Service

I’m still trying to get this YouTube thing.

I check the site periodically to see what’s most popular. When I hear that a certain video posted there has been “visited” by 900 million people, the equivalent of the population of China or India, to say the least I’m intrigued and want to know more. But every time I do this it just seems that what gets clicked on the most are amateur versions of America’s Funniest Videos—people getting caught on camera doing stupid things.

So the other day when someone I like and respect told me he was trawling through YouTube the other night and stumbled on a video from Europe that so “cracked him up” that he watched it at least 30 times, I needed to locate it and take a look. The 30 times business, then, helped me with the 900 million “visitors” issue—if this friend watched that video 30 times that’s a lot different than 30 people watching it once.

I checked it out—it was a video set on the back deck of a house in, I think, Austria; and the video itself was of a bunch of kids spanking each other on the ass with switches from trees. Maybe a little amusing, but enough for anyone to watch it more than two dozen times? I don’t think so.

But then again, why are so many of us still fascinated by O. J. Simpson; Anna Nicole Smith; the Olsen Twins; and of course Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears?

Always on every case, the NY Times recently attempted to help with this. They of course do not print gossip—they slip gossip into their paper by reporting about it and in the reporting they sometimes get very explicit. This time, they tell about Britney Spears running around with Paris, emphasizing how she (stage) managed to put her private parts on display in the process. The Times even goes so far as to report that after her nether regions were broadcast worldwide via the internet and sites such as TMZ.com (check it out), Britney the next day was spotted and photographed in the store shopping for undies. [Article linked below].

The Times also tells about how Gawker.com (check it out) got itself into a complicated situation when it reported that Screw Magazine’s Al Goldstein joked that he had enough Ambien on hand to kill himself. Gawker got a bunch of emails asking how much Ambien it would take to kill oneself (less than is needed for someone Al’s size) and passed along the answer in a sort of perverted suicide service.

What’s this all about—our seemingly insatiable need for this kind of stuff? A need so great that to satisfy it we have to keep moving the boundaries to allow more salacious things to be broadcast in an effort to attract audiences who require the ante to constantly be raised.

I guess it’s just like any other addiction—it requires more and more to stay high.