February 9, 2007--Fanaticism LXXIV--Humanized Products

I swore that I wouldn’t write another blog about pets, I mean pet owners; but then there was this article recently in the NY Times (linked) and again I can’t control myself.

I live in a “pet-friendly” coop in Manhattan where at our annual shareholders meetings more time and emotion is spent on discussions, actually raging battles, about the “rights” of pet-owners versus those of residents who do not have pets. We argue about issues such as—Must dogs and cats be required to ride in the very nice freight elevator, since some of us have allergies to fur and dander, or should they, in spite of this be allowed in the passenger elevators (needless to say that even though it is against the house rules for pets to be in passenger elevators they almost always are and those of us humans with allergies ride with the recycling newspapers). Should dogs be allowed to pee on the trees right outside the building entrance (again, this is against the house rules but how are they to be enforced when the president of the coop board’s dog does so). And so on.

So it is not surprising to see reported that the business of pet cemeteries is booming. And here we are not talking about just final resting places for Sandy and Kitty, we are seeing significant growth in what David Lummis, a leading “pet marketing analyst” calls very high-priced “humanized products.” These are in hot demand, he says, because they “sanction treating pets like family.”

I know that there is evidence that people live longer if they have pets and that they can be a great comfort to the lonely and bereaved, and mind you I love many dogs and cats and have owned a few (if “owned” is the right word to apply to a family member), but I draw the line on fancy burials and cemetery plots. One such burial place, actually those in the business call it a “committal” place, is a full replica in a pet cemetery of the rest of the family’s granite mausoleum that reportedly cost tens of thousand to construct.

Committal services too are soaring out of control. At one place in Tucson, although human pallbearers carry the coffin to the gravesite, the cemetery also provides a live miniature horse, the well-named Shadow, to attend the service as an honorary “paw bearer.”

And then, if this isn’t enough, and if you can’t live with the idea of being separated from Rex for eternity, not to worry as there are an increasing number of pet cemeteries that are people-friendly—they will arrange for you to be buried side-by-side with all the four-legged members of your family who predeceased you.