April 5, 2007--Name, Rank, Serial Number, and Head Scarf

Though the world would be a safer place if no one in either the U.S. or England had volunteered to serve in the military—there would have been no troops to send to Iraq much less to participate in the Surge—and though I do understand that the vast majority who do enlist come from low-income families and see serving in the army as an opportunity, in spite of this, when soldiers gets captured I expect that until and unless they are tortured they are supposed to give only their name, rank, and serial number when being interrogated.

So in spite of the relief that many feel that the15 British sailors and marines were released yesterday by their Iranian captors, I am appalled by their behavior during the past two weeks. Barely a day went by before they began to show up on Tehran TV smilingly “confessing” to have been in Iranian waters when captured. Then the day after that, they were on TV again happily chowing down—the female marine now wearing a headscarf while smoking.

Media pundits and government apologists immediately began to look for signs that their amiable behavior was forced—that they were winking to us while apologizing to the Iranian people or deliberately misspelling words in their written statements—anything to signal that they were behaving in this seemingly-cooperative way as the result of having been beaten, water-boarded, or not allowed to sleep for 48 hours. But no, it appeared as the days went by that they were having a good-old time.

So when President Ahmadinejad set them free yesterday, as an “Easter gift” to England, and in celebration of the Prophet’s birthday, it was not entirely surprising to see them, still in Tehran, nattily decked out in Ahmadinejad-style suits and then later, in England this morning, back in military garb, but toting designer bags from what I can only assume was from a shopping spree at Tehran Airport’s duty free shops. (See NY Times article linked below.)

I can’t wait to see what happens next. In the past, they would have already been trotted off to court marshals or, minimally, would be held in disgrace by their peers and the public.

Whatever their reasons for volunteering in the first instance, what did they think they were signing up for? Free college tuition? Didn’t they realize that their country, England, was a member of the Coalition of the Willing and that they would likely be sent off to Iraq or Afghanistan and once there they were certain to be in harm’s way?

OK, so they didn’t realize that. But once they were captured, without a shot being fired on either side, what had they been trained or instructed to do? Get ready for their close up? If what they wanted was 15 minutes of fame, rather than standing like a news anchor man before a map of the war zone and pointing out, while being sure to face the camera like a well-trained TV weatherman, where their boats had strayed into Iranian waters, they should have waited out their captivity and when they got repatriated, tried out for British Idol.

Forget stiff-upper-lip and Dunkirk, the RAF and blood, sweat, and tears. Today everything is YouTube.