May 8, 2007--Your Cheatin' Heart

Has there ever been a bigger tease? As part of her defense, Deborah Jeane Palfrey, CEO of the Washington, DC “high-end erotic fantasy service,” has been leaking the names of a few of her clients. Thus far, though a couple of Bush administration Johns have been outed and forced to resign, it appears that though she has thousands of names in her little black book, ABC News, which purportedly has access to most of them, hasn’t as yet aired any—I suspect less out of a sense of discretion than because few of us would care since none appear to be Big Names.

Tell the truth, though Paul Wolfowitz appears to be otherwise erotically engaged, wouldn’t it be just too, too delicious to find him in Palfrey’s book or Richard Perle or, even better, Rummy or Karl or Condi?

So while waiting for another slipper to drop, those of us who are too uptight to admit we can’t get enough of this kind of gossip, we are left with talking and writing about the meaning of “is.”

You recall that, yes? When Bill Clinton was nailed, sorry, confronted with the accusation that he had had sex with Monica Lewinsky, he denied it, saying, “I never had sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.” And when her infamous blue dress showed up with that notorious stain on it, he persisted in saying that he never had sexual relations with her because fellatio (bj's) did not constitute sexual relations in his jurisdiction, Washington, DC. He was technically correct—as he said, “It all depends on what you definition of ‘is’ ‘is.’”

Not to be left out, while dancing around how salacious they should be when reporting the current story, the NY Times has taken to covering the definition and consequences of infidelity (see linked article).

In an attempt to find the appropriate tone and level, The Times quotes Patti Britton, president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, who says, “What I coach my clients to consider is, what is cheating and what is the ranking order of the violation to their agreement as a couple?”

Is an erotic massage cheating? Is it worse to carry on an affair with a neighbor than to have sex with a prostitute? How about sleeping with the nanny as opposed to a co-worker? Do you consider or define each of these to be cheating, and if so how do you rank order them? All the same? Do you see one to be the absolute worst? And of course, what then do you think the cheated-upon-one should do?

While switching back and forth between Inside Edition and Larry King to get the latest, if you want to explore these issues at this abstract (and boring) level, check out survivinginfidelity.com. I think you’ll like it.