June 30, 2008--McCain & Abel

It is reported that an increasing number of Barack Obama supporters, as a way of expressing solidarity with him, are informally adopting his middle name.

As a result according to the New York Times, we now have Jaime Alverez of Washington, D.C. calling himself Jaime Hussein Alverez. We also have an Emily Hussein Nordling, a Kelly Hussein Crowley and a Sarah Beth Hussein Frumkin. (Article linked below.)

It is as if they are asserting that if the Republican Attack Machine is going to continue to emphasize his middle name in order to fuel the false rumor that he is a Muslin extremist in a Christian disguise, than I’m a Muslim too.

This reminds me of something Dick Gregory did back in 1964 when there was still much overt racism and discrimination. He titled his autobiography Nigger so, he said, whenever his mother heard anyone use that epithet she would think they were talking about her son’s best-selling book.

So in solidarity, until Election Day, I’ll be known as Steven Hussein Zwerling. And I’m thinking of calling my autobiography Kike.

But while on the subject, I’ve been doing some wondering about John McCain’s name. Does it hold any hidden meaning that might be revealed by deconstructing it?

The "John" part is easy. Those Fundamentalists who have thus far decided to back him in spite of their suspicion that he’s a closet abortionist are undoubtedly somewhat assured that he is as much named for Jesus’ Baptist as he is for his four-star admiral father and grandfather.

Though I wonder if maybe during his wild and randy days at the Naval Academy and thereafter calling him a “John” wasn’t also a clue about how he and his buddies might have spent many an evening. But since I do not want to be accused of starting rumors of this kind, I’ll move on to the “McCain.”

Again easy is the “Mc” of the “McCain.” He is after all of Scottish descent and pretty much all of their last names are McSomething.

It’s the “Cain” part, though, that’s really got me going. Of course you know where I’m headed with this.

If Senator Obama has problems because of “Hussein,” a common name for someone whose father when he was born was a very secular Muslim (he later oxymoronically became an avowed atheist) and fair game for right-wingers, what’s to prevent left-wingers from turning the tables?

It is any more of a stretch to ask if John McCain’s ultimate ancestor was Adam and Eve’s second son? You know, the one who murdered his brother and thereby ever after became known as “the progenitor of evil”?

Of course I’m being both facetious and silly. So also-silly Rush and Karl and John, can you cool it? How about just sticking to calling Obama a “liberal” and an “appeaser.” Won’t that get the job done for you guys?