July 21, 2008--Nice Work If You Can Get It . . .

In Andrew Fleming’s very funny 1999 movie, Dick, two ditzy teenagers, Betsy and Arlene, played perfectly by Kirstin Dunst and Michelle Williams, inadvertently contribute to the unraveling of the Watergate break in and cover up. Arlene, who lives in the Watergate spots G. Gordon Liddy there on that fateful night and the next day, on a tour of the White House, she and Betsy spy him lurking there.

Alerted by Liddy, J. R. Halderman interrogates them and then in order to keep them quiet, with Nixon’s approval, gets them appointed “officlal White House dog walkers.” Their job is to take care of the very-famous Checkers. Later, after many hilarious encounters with Nixon, the perfect Dan Hedaya, as things begin to unravel around him and he becomes more isolated, especially from young people, Nixon names them to be his “youth advisors.”

In case you haven’t seen Dick, I will say no more. Just go out and rent the DVD.

But as we know, truth often imitates fiction. Often even farce imitates truth.

This brings me to Blake Gottesman, George Bush’s Deputy Chief of Staff. Blake is responsible for overseeing day-to-day White House operations and earns a cool $172,000 a year. This represents a big step up for him because not too many months ago, this 28 year-old’s chief responsibility was taking care of Barney. You know Barney. He’s the cute Scottish terrier you see racing across the White House lawn whenever Bush alights from Marine Chopper Number One.

To be fair to Mr. Gottesman his job description involved more than tending to Barney. It also involved opening doors for President Bush (as we know this can be a tricky affair); keeping him well supplied with Sharpies for signing autographs; and to kill germs after presidential handshakes, making sure to have handy a spritz-bottle of Purell.

OK, so maybe he got his “body-man” job—that’s what these assignments are called (and to be fair Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and Barack Obama have their versions--though Hillary’s, Huma Abedin, is a “body woman”) because during high school he dated Jenna Bush; but to be doubly fair, after handling the Sharpies for years he took time off to complete an MBA at Bush’s alma mater, Harvard, which is impressive since he never graduated from college; and it was only after that that he was hired to serve his country and president in his current Chief of Staff role. (See NY Times article linked below.)

Still some might say this is a pretty thin resume for someone to be elevated to such a lofty and responsible position in the White House. Especially considering the talent that’s available out there now that the Bush administration has ruined the economy and so many highly qualified folks are desperately seeking jobs.

I’ll bet you could even get a former Fortune 500 senior vice president to take over the Barney job. Why, what’s Brownie doing these days after he finished rebuilding New Orleans? He’d be perfect.

On the other hand, back to Dick, like Arlene and Betsy what might old Blake Gottesman know about what went on behind the scenes while he was walking the dog? Who really leaked Valerie Plame’s CIA identity? What actually happened to Karl Rove’s emails? What did the president know and when did he know it in regard to invading Iraq? And is Dick Cheney really our president?

Come on Blake. You’re out of a job come January 20th. You really think you’ll find anything else out there that’ll pay you anything like $172K a year?

But big bucks await you in Hollywood. So start typing.