September 3, 2008--Bearer of Consolation (Concluded)

Ruth did in fact want to say more. “To tell you the truth, it at times was so painful that I found excuses not to visit my brother-in-law. I’m not proud about that, but I was having some of my own troubles at the time, which we don’t have to get into. But I did get up there every few week, offering to try to help. On occasion, when she was really suffering I took the kids home with me for the weekend. So they could have some relief.”

“This was a few years ago,” Rona said, “how are they doing now?”

“You are not going to belief this,” Ruth brightened, “They are fine. Actually, all things considered, quite well. But that’s not the part you’re no going to believe. It’s how things got better for Bob that you’ll think I’m making up. But, thankfully, I have the pictures to show you as proof.”

“This sounds mysterious,” I said.

“So let me tell you about the bear.”

“The what?”

“You heard me—the bear. The bear who brought Bob back to the land of the living.”

“This I’ve got to hear.”

“Just keep sucking on your coffee and all will be revealed.” I took a long swallow and picked at my muffin. “I think I told you that he lives way up there,” she hadn’t but pointed in the general direction of New Hampshire, “by the border. Not far from Corinth. Kind of remote. But the sort of place they both liked. A good area in which to raise kids. About a week after Suzy passed I drove up there to look in on them. To bring them some things. And whatnot. To see if there was anything I could do. That sort of thing. He was as disconsolate as any human being I’d ever seen. He told me that the children were staying with his sister in Brattleboro. He thought that would be best for them since he couldn’t pull himself out of his unhappiness.

“And you could see it written all over him. In just those few weeks he had lost a lot of weight and with his not shaving and being all stubbly he looked like he was at about death’s door. The place was a mess. Stuff all over the place. Like no one had straightened up in years. And he had always been the most fastidious person you would ever want to meet. It was obvious he was in deep trouble. Frankly, as I told you, I had some of my own difficulties back home and since I couldn’t think of what else to do except urge him to eat and take care of himself, if not for him at least for the children’s sake, I got ready to leave. He was barely aware of my presence. As I tried to talk with him, to encourage him to try to begin living again, he just stared blankly out to space, rocking back and forth with his arms wrapped tightly around him. As if he was hugging himself. It was the saddest thing you ever saw.”

“I can only imagine,” Rona said.

“Well you’re sure right about that. So much so that, try as I might, I couldn’t bring myself to get back there. But I did drive down to visit my nephews. They were doing about as good as might be expected in the circumstances. It was summer and school was out and they had a couple of cousins there their own age who they were getting along with just fine. So at least that was good to see and it sort of helped me deal with my guilt about not doing a better job of staying in touch with Bob. I thought he was a goner and, though it pains me to admit this, I guess I just tried to put him out of my mind and get on with my own life.”

“I understand that,” Rona said, trying to offer consolation. “My mother is not well and every time I speak with her and hear her sadness I torture myself, asking why don’t I visit more often. On my truly bad days, I even think about moving closer to her so I can see her every day. But then I realize I have my own life to live. That I don’t want to give that up for even my mother. But I suspect like you, Ruth, I pay a price every day that I feel good or happy.”
PART II
“Yeah, yeah,” Ruth, again in her upbeat mode, waved off Rona’s words of understanding, “Shit happens to all of us. But the trick is to keep moving and not let them catch up with you. For example, like I was saying, here was my brother-in-law who was sailing along and all of a sudden he gets clobbered. But the good news,” she switched on a broad grin, “is that he’s all bounced back now because of that bear, which you keep interrupting me from telling you about like you think I’m nuts or still hung over from the weekend.”

“No, no,” I began to sputter.

“That’s all right. Just sit still for a few minutes, won’t you, concentrate on your coffee, and let me tell you what happened.”

We did as ordered, thinking this was going to be a good one. Another rural put on or tall tale.

“I heard all this from Bob’s brother Marc who, unlike me, visited him at least once a week. He called me one day, about three weeks after my last visit, sounding all excited. ‘You’ll never believe this,’ he said, ‘but he’s showing some signs of coming around.’ ‘How good,’ I said, ‘I was hoping to hear that.’ ‘That’s not it,’ he said, ‘not that that isn’t what we’ve been hopin’ for. For him to pull out of it. It’s the bear. Anyone tell you about that?’ Like you two thought about me,” Ruth shot us a look, “I thought he had gone nuts. ‘No,’ I said sort of humoring him along, ‘no one told me anything about a bear. What’s the story?’ I sat back and lit a smoke thinking this was going to be a good one.

“’There’s this black bear, a big one, six feet or so when he stands on his hind legs, whose been visiting him ‘most every day.’ I knew there were bears around where Bob lives so that didn’t surprise me. There are lots of bear sightings, especially at that time of year. ‘I know what you’re thinkin’,’ he said, ‘I’m not talkin’ about a bear on his property. I’m talkin’ about a bear who comes right up to his house, right up to him really, every morning, and sits with him the whole day.’”

“Well, you can only imagine what I was thinking. Either Bob or him have lost their minds. I figured now I have another case on my hands to worry about. Bob wasn’t enough. ‘I know what you’re thinkin’,’ he was reading my mind, ‘but I saw this, the bear I mean, the other day with my own eyes. Bob had been telling me about it and I thought, in his grief, he’s lost his mind for sure. But when I was up there three days ago there was Bob sitin’ out back where I had been seeing him since Suzy died, and sure enough by that stone fence that runs along his property line was that sucker of a bear sittin’ there like Bob’s best friend. Not more than ten feet from him. Just hangin’ out.’

“Now I’ve known Marc for years and he’s a solid citizen. Doesn’t drink a drop as far as I know and I doubt he uses any of that other stuff either. So I said, ‘Maybe it was just the day you were there. I mean that the bear was nearby. That’s a lot different than being there with Bob every day.’ He was ready for that and said, ‘I wasn’t born yesterday so I went back the next two days during my lunch break and sure enough there were the two of them getting’ along just fine. Yesterday, that bear was right up by Bob’s side, lyin’ on his back, stretched out in the sun, takin’ a midday nap! I’ve never seen anything like that before, and I’ve lived here all my life.’

“’I asked Bob,’ Marc said, ‘if he had any understanding about what is going on and he shook his head. With a shrug and a smile. The first one I’ve seen on his face since Suzy died. He said, ‘It feels like a miracle. Like Suzy sent him to me. That’s the only explanation I can come up with. This morning,’ Bob said, ‘I was sleeping late and would you believe it he came up onto the back porch and rattled the door. To tell you the truth, it scared me a little, I was sleeping so soundly—my first good night’s sleep since Suzy. But it was him. Looking for me. Calling on me to join him. At least that’s what I think he was doing. And when I pulled on my clothes, got some coffee, and did go outside there he was in his usual spot. Waiting on me.’

“I had just been listening to Marc on the phone but like now had goose bumps all over me. But still there was a part of me that doubted him. Though he did sound convincing. And sober. ‘I know you probably don’t believe me,’ Marc said, ‘I don’t blame you because if I didn’t have the pictures to prove it I wouldn’t believe myself. Including one I took of the bear fast asleep by Bob’s side.”

Ruth had to take someone else’s order but said she would be right back. While she drifted to the other end of the counter I looked over at Rona to see what she was thinking. “Pretty amazing,” she said, “but there are these stories about wild animals sort of adopting humans. Especially people who are in some sort of trouble or danger. But usually it’s when they’re are out in the woods and have seriously injured themselves; so I suppose . . .”

Ruth had returned before Rona could complete her thought. “That was last summer,” she said. “The bear stayed with him all through it. Almost every day until late August. By then Bob had been pretty much restored to his old self. He was still grieving, but he had definitely crossed over the line to join those who looked forward to living.”

That much I understood. “Give me a minute she said. I have something for you.” She pivoted and bolted for the kitchen.

While she was away, I said, “This is amazing, but this time I think I believe her. Ruth’s a kidder and can spin things to tell a good story. . .”

“Like you,” Rona interrupted with a twinkle.

“Yes, like me, but this time she seems serious.”

Ruth had returned and was leaning on the counter between the corn and blueberry muffins. “Just take a look at these.” She slid two photos across to us. “And this is not the work of Photoshop,” she said.

Sure enough in one there was a man who looked to be in his early forties sitting in a meadow on a recliner chair, and lolling on the grass not ten feet from him was a huge black bear. The other picture showed him again in the same chair with the bear sprawled out on its back seemingly, as we had heard, fast asleep.

“That second one, Marc took. The other one I took! What do you think of that?”

“A lot,” Rona said.

And I agreed. Quite a lot.