November 14, 2008--Gitmo

It appears that Barack Obama is intending to fulfill his campaign promise and close the Gitmo prison in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

This is good news and long overdue. Americans and the rest of the world will be watching.

Concerned as I am about the value of real estate, I’ve been wondering what we will do with it once the prisoners, sorry, “enemy combatants” are relocated with some presumably put on trial and, if convicted, after six or seven years of detention formally sentenced. Certainly we won’t give it back to those Cubans Commies. Not this U.S. of A.

So what to do? Turn it into a Rock Resort? Or a Club Med? Use it for target practice? No, not that. I forgot. We have Vieques in Puerto Rico for that. Thank you Spanish American War for these lingering spoils.

But then I figured it out—use Gitmo to detain all those banking and investment house execs who ruined and pillaged our economy.

Blindfold them, haul them over to Gitmo, put them in what will be those leftover orange jump suits, chain them up, and then march them around in the hot Caribbean sun for the next half dozen years. Of course let them have any remaining Korans for nighttime reading.

If necessary, to figure out how much they passed along in bonuses from the $700 billion pool of taxpayer, sorry, “borrowed money” Congress naively dolled out to bailout, sorry, “rescue” their companies, use torture, sorry, “extreme interrogation techniques.” To get to the truth and the transparency everyone is clamoring for (who actually got the money and what the hell have they done with it? Are you listening AIG?), I’m not so sure I want just yet to see Obama outlaw water boarding. It could be very helpful in getting to the bottom of what happened.

Let’s begin by rounding up a bunch of folks from that esteemed institution Goldman Sachs, which not only has had its hand out to the Treasury (they received at least $10 billion thus far), but has also supplied us with a series of Treasury Secretaries, including the current, wonderful Henry (call him "Hank") Paulson.

Get the picture—they send former CEOs to Washington who then hire Goldman people to run the giveaway, sorry bailout, sorry “rescue plan,” and then pass along bushels of money to Goldman so they can . . . what?

It looks like fire people (thus far Goldman has announced and/or fired, sorry, “laid off” 4,700) and give execs their more-or-less usual bonuses. This while their stock has fallen from $240 a share 12 months ago to less than a third of that value--$70 as of yesterday.

It is reported that Goldman will use more than half of that Chinese money, sorry, the $10 billion of taxpayer debt, for bonuses. Including $41 million for current CEO Lloyd Blankfein.

So you remember when you write to him it's: Lloyd Blankfein, c/o Raul Castro, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. And that's spelled B.L.A.N.K.F.E.I.N, Lloyd.

I must be in the wrong business.