May 21, 2009--M.P.'s Gone Wild

There’s a Website, cleanupwashington.org, that takes great delight in keeping track of congressional transgressions. If you want to wallow in cynicism, when it come to Congress, this is not difficult to do.

With 435 members of the House of Representatives and another 100 Senators, pretty much all full of themselves, invulnerable when it comes to reelection, and pray to big money donors who are eager to contribute to their campaigns and life style, it should be no surprise that one was forced to give up his office after getting caught with his pants almost down (as Rep. Mark Foley [R--Fl.] did after it was discovered that he was sending pornographic emails to congressional pages); or had to resign after the FBI found thousands of dollars in cash stuffed in his freezer (which Rep. William Jefferson [D.--La.] did); or got caught in an affair of his own while demanding that Bill Clinton (D.—Ar.) be impeached for having sex with that woman, Miss. Lewinsky (as did Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich [R.--Ga.]); or was arrested while tapping his toes in homosexual code in a public men’s room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport (as Senator Larry Craig [R.—Id.]) did.

I am trying to be bipartisn here and of course could go on and on with other examples. But, in spite of this, in spite of my mockery, I was shocked (not really) to learn that American politicians are mere pikers when it comes to being caught up to their elbows in the proverbial cookie jar. As usual, in regard to political miscreance, the Brits have it all over us.

Have you been following the current scandals in Parliament? For generations the stiff-upper-lip English have been caught and photographed in various forms of corpus delicti, which though it literally means “body of crime,” it in more popular parlance means pretty much the same thing that happened to poor Mark Foley.

This time around, there is no “call girl” Christine Keeler in sight to bring down a contemporary John Profumo or a dominatrix hovering as in the recent case of Max Mosley who was captured on videotape engaged in S&M role-playing, with her in the familiar leather and him in Nazi regalia. No, this time, more like in gilded America, members of Parliament, many of them, have been embarrassed and are likely to be punished for padding their expense accounts.

Not just by seeking to get reimbursed for an occasional meal that they didn’t have or claiming they drove 100 miles on business when in fact it was only 50.

According to the New York Times (article linked below), this time around, M.P.’s from the majority Labor Party have been routinely reimbursed for having their hedges trimmed, their tennis courts repaired, and their moats cleared. And here I thought Labor, like our Democrats, is the party of the people.

But there is more—they have been reimbursed for purchasing flat-screen TVs, bathrobes and massage chairs (it ain’t easy working all day in Parliament), and for workers to change their light bulbs. Landed gentry Members have been paid back for having manure spread on their croquet courts; and, since cricket whites get soiled when M.P. silly mid-offs scamper across the grass pitch, some have had to hire people to instruct them in how to use their washing machines—also paid for by taxpayers.

And, Brits being Brits, some Members have also charged pornographic DVDs to their expense accounts.

This has all been covered by their “second-home allowance,” which allows each Member, who may live elsewhere, up to the equivalent of $37,000 a year for costs associated with needing to have a flat in London. I can understand that—look, Sarah Palin has the same problem and has been reimbursed for living in her own home—but I draw the line on cleaning up people’s moats. They should be required to do that themselves. When parliament is not in session.