Tuesday, July 13, 2010

July 13, 2010--Alvin M. Greene For Senator

If I lived in South Carolina, for sure I'd be voting for Alvin M. Greene. While everyone understandably has been concentrating on the race for governor because the shoe-in candidate is Republican Nikki Haley, who won the primary and down there whoever wins that wins in a walk in November, under the radar, he won the Democratic Party Senate nomination.

She is a big story for at least three reasons--first because she's a she. No woman has ever been elected governor in that very conservative, very macho state. Second, because she is a woman of color and no man or woman of color has ever had a real chance to become governor. She is a second-generation Sikh Indian-American and in South Carolina this can be a very big problem, though in her case it apparently isn't. Good for the white folks in SC. And three, though the governor she will be replacing is the infamous Mark Stanford, who fell into disgrace while alleged hiking on the Appalachian Trail while in fact he was knoodling with his mistress in Argentina, though you would expect his successor would have to be squeaky clean, presumptive-governor Haley will come into office already seemingly having had at least two adulterous affairs--one with conservative blogger Will Folks and the other with local lobbyist Larry Marchant. South Carolina is clearly an equal opportunity state when it comes to philandering. Again, good for old Palmetto State.

So get used to Governor Haley, who will become an instant star on Fox News and probably be promoted by them to be ready to run for the presidency no later than this December.

Turn your attention, therefore, to Alvin M. Greene, the incredibly surprising winner of the Democratic Party primary in June, securing 100,000 votes, about 59 percent of all Democrats who voted.

His win is incredible for at least a dozen reasons. Let me list just a few--

He's black.

He's unemployed.

He was discharged from the Army under mysterious circumstances.

Until recently he didn't have a Website.

No one knows how he managed to put together the $10,440 required candidate's filing fee.

And he is currently being prosecuted for allegedly showing pornography to a teenage girl.

And if you think he may have won the primary because of his strength on the issues, how about his views on what to do to stimulate the economy? He proposes that South Carolina invest in making toys of him. Yes, toys of him that can be sold during the holidays. The New York Times quotes him as suggesting they if they were to make them in SC and not China jobs will be created: "Little dolls," he says, "Of me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an Army uniform, Air Force uniform, and me in my suit."

Now that's a trickle-down stimulus plan his governor could get behind after rejecting money from Obama's.

Of course people are wondering how he managed to win the primary. Mainstream Democrats say that he was put up for office and funded by dirty-tricks-minded Republicans who thought that if he won the their boy would be certain to win in November. The less paranoid, perhaps knowing something about the mentality and capacities of many South Carolina voters, say he won because his name was listed first on the ballot. Voters weren't motivated or savvy enough to check box number two or three.

Mr. Greene, on the other hand, proudly says he was victorious because he "worked hard." Though there is little evidence that he did any campaigning at all.

I could go on joining in on the fun. But think about it for a minute, what would be wrong with having someone so genuinely grassroots or, as Obama would put it, "ordinary" elected to the Senate? Someone who is unemployed and probably has no job prospects at all. Someone who if in Congress might have the capacity to come up with some commonsensical new ideas, exhibits a genuine sense of play, and has already displayed a wry perspective on life and himself.

And someone who unabashedly sees being elected to the Senate as a good job with great pay and benefits.

Elective office, after all, is a government job with salaries and benefits paid for by the taxpayers. If elected he would be one less on the books collecting unemployment insurance and receiving food stamps. The more I think about this maybe all the current 535 congressmen and senators should leave office, live on the government dole, sorry, I mean collect their pensions; and with them out of the way let's put 535 of the unemployed in Congress. They too will probably manage to get very little done but at least we taxpayers will be getting a version of our money's worth.

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