March 4, 2100--Lobster Mac and Cheese

Unless you've spent time in Maine, when you hear anyone use the word whoopie, you probably think they're referring to "Making Whoopee!," Eddie Cantor's song hit of the pre-crash 1920s. But if you saw whoopie/whoopee in writing, you might note the difference in spelling and wonder about whoopie--what's with it?

Whoopie, with an ie, is from Whoopie Pie, the classic Maine confection that will first put weight on you and then kill you with carbs and cholesterol.

It is, for the record, made up of two chocolate-cake-like discs that sandwich between them a thick layer of frosting. To make the filling, you use:

1 stick unsalted butter, softened
1 1/4 cups confectioners sugar
2 cups marshmallow cream such as Marshmallow Fluff
1 teaspoon vanilla

See what I mean?

What you make of making whoopee as opposed to downing a couple of Whoopie Pies I leave to your imagination.

Whoopie Pies are such a big deal in Maine, and have been around for so long, that last year the state legislature, rather than dealing with Maine's mounting debt, moved to name it the official state dessert. To join the White Pine Cone as the official state flower; the Landlocked Salmon as the official state fish; the blueberry as the official state berry; the moose of course as the official state animal; the Pertica Quadrifaria as the, yes, official state fossil; the pine tree as the official state tree; and Dirigo (I lead) as the official state motto.

(Why, by the way, are all state mottoes still in Latin? Even doctors now write their prescriptions in English.)

But while this heavy-duty debate about desserts was going on up in Augusta (I for one wondered if any others were in contention--blueberry pie? Tiramisu?), wouldn't you know it another state got into the act, claiming that it--in this case Pennsylvania--was the birthplace of the Whoopie Pie. (See linked New York Times story.)

Now there's all this back and forth and I imagine soon teams of lawyers will be involved and who knows, by the time Rona and I get back to Maine in May maybe eating one there will be a misdemeanor.

Then, on top of this, wouldn't you know it, just as I was dealing with the interstate Whoopie Pie Wars, I heard that some folks are messing with our lobster rolls.

Whoopie Pies I can deal with. To tell the truth, I hate them. But leave my lobster rolls alone. Fooling with them would be going too far and a very un-Mainer thing to do.

But as a way to get more money to lobstermen, clever marketeers are coming up with all sorts of new things to do with lobster meat. I'm all for lobstermen making more money--they work incredibly hard in all weather and should do better than at present, but are we really ready for lobster macaroni and cheese as one Portland maven is promoting? Do we want fast food chains such as Panera and Ruby Tuesday coming up with who-knows-what with lobster as they say they are?

I'm OK with the plan to send more lobsters to China--we do have to do something to right our balance of trade--but when I go to Ruby Tuesday I want my Creole Catch. Not Lobster Fondue.