August 21, 2012--Bureaucracy

"Why is it," I asked, "that all bureaucracies which are theoretically designed to make things work efficiently and fairly, over time, seem to do the opposite?" We were having coffee with friends at the cafe. "What causes this to happen?"

"I thought political subjects are off limits on Monday mornings." This with a wink from a friend.

"I'm not making a political statement," I quickly said, hoping he was just fooling with me--but I wanted to be sure. "Look, haven't we all been saying [we had been] that this is a problem at all governmental levels--local, state, and federal--and that even bureaucracies within companies can be just as bad and infuriating as the one at the motor vehicle bureau?" Everyone nodded. "So what's the story?" I continued, "Why does this always seem to happen?"

"For example," Ted said, "They'll never get around to fixing the Harrington Meeting House Road. This winter when the snowplows get to it they'll scrape out all the old asphalt and it will revert to being a dirt road."

"Or the school buses won't be able to drive on it," Pete chimed in, "It will be that unsafe."

"So, what's holding it up?" Rona asked. "Which bureaucracy?"

"I thought the work was approved," Ted said, "The paperwork's all done."

Pete offered, "It's what Steve's saying. The bureaucracy, that's the problem. That's what's holding things up."

"But if it has all the approvals," Ted wanted to know, "they should get started before the winter comes."

"You're missing my point," Pete said. "It's not about paperwork or even the regulations. And you know what I think about them." He made a face.

"So what is it then?" I asked. "I thought we were talking about bureaucracies."

"We are," Pete said, with building annoyance. 

"Now you've got me confused," I said. "If the paperwork's done and all the bureaucratic ducks are in a row," I intentionally used a Mainer idiom, "why is the problem bureaucratic?"

"It's about the money."

"Keep going. I'm still not following you."

"The money's all there. Or at least it should be."

"And?"

"And the bureaucracy's in the way."

"By burying the project in paperwork or with arbitrary rules or . . . ?"

"Nope. Not any of that." Pete was by then diverting his eyes.

"So what is it? You seem reluctant to say."

"Well, I know your politics and today's politics-free Monday." I was glad to see him smile.

"We can make an exception," Rona said.

"It's that Section 8."

"I thought that was for psychiatric discharges from the army. You know, what Corporal Klinger from MASH was always trying to get by wearing dresses." Everyone laughed at that.

"Not that Section 8," Peter persisted. "Though it could be."

"Because?"

"Because it's crazy."

"In what way?"

"It's the one about housing."

"Again, I'm not following you." I said truthfully.

"You know what happens to your gas taxes don;t you? The federal part."

"I think it goes into a highway trust fund, or something like that."

"It's supposed to and the money's supposed to be there for highway projects. Maybe even to fix up Harrington Road."

"And, are you saying, that because of government bureaucracy," back to that, "they won't release the money?"

"No, what I'm saying is that according to Section 8 the money gets diverted to things like housing."

"Government housing? Subsidized housing for low-income people?"

"That's what I'm saying. You can look it up. Section 8." I nodded to indicate I would. "And you know what else is going on?"

"I'm eager to hear but I'm not sure that what you're describing has to do with anything bureaucratic. Which is OK since there's no requirement that we stick to the subject. Or, for that matter, any subject."

"That pretty much describes us," Ted interjected, this time with an even more obvious wink.

"Well, since you asked," Pete clearly wanted to get to his bottom line, "It's really about, about, you know  . . ." he was stammering but finally said, "It's about the colored."

Sensing where this was headed, I had trouble controlling my voice, "The what?" I almost shouted. The couple in the next booth turned to see what was going on.

"I told you we shouldn't go there," Pete said.

"We didn't go there," I corrected him, now under better control. "We were innocently talking about bureaucracy, something I thought we all pretty much agreed about, and you're the one who made this political, if I can call what you're suggesting political."

"Who's getting the money? I mean, who's getting the free housing?"

"First of all , it's not free, but subsidized, and second, it's not . . ."

"You can call it what you will. I'll call it giving my tax money to people who don't work."

"Poor people are the ones who . . ."

"Who, as I was saying--and I know it's not politically correct--but . . ."

"It sure isn't correct. Not just politically but in other ways as well." The people in the other booth were enjoying this.

"And who are most of your poor people?"

"If they're mine, they're also yours."

"Coloreds, that's who. These are just the facts. You can look that up too."

Rona had paid our check and was getting up to leave. Ted and Pete also slid out of their seats. Nothing more was said and without any goodbyes we went our separate ways.

In the car on the way home Rona said, "We just witnessed the hard truth about what's really going on with Tea Party followers and other very conservative Americans. It's people of color who are making them angry--they feel that their money is being used to pay for housing for people of color, for college scholarships for them--Pell grants--for food stamps, for medical care. While they themselves are struggling. And, when they look at who's in the White House it makes them crazy."

At home I did some reading about the federal Highway Trust Fund, especially what was being said by conservative think tanks such as the Cato Institute.

They make the case that, yes, there are funds being diverted from federal highway projects to local road projects in individual member's congressional districts. Mainly through hundreds of millions of dollars in earmarks. Earmarks equally distributed among progressive Democrats and conservative Republicans.

There is no evidence whatsoever that any gasoline tax money is used for anything other than various modes of transportation, including for Amtrak, subways, and even bike paths. Maybe that shouldn't be, but that's the most abusive thing that might be said about the uses of Fund money.

And, the Section 8 Pete was referring to--as if it was the "bureaucratic" justification for diverting funds to "the coloreds"--turns out most likely to be Section 8 of Article 1 of the U.S. Constitution that permits the federal government to "establish Post Offices and post Roads."

That Section 8. And, yes, everything else imputed to it is crazy.