April 5, 2013--Service Animals

Hanging out at the Green Owl the other morning, reading the Palm Beach Post, Hugh slid the paper over to Rona and said, "Read this."

"What's it about?"

"Service animals." She looked at him quizzically. "Read it and tell me what you think."

"It looks as if the county school district has been sued recently over its service dog policy. How it effects students, staff, and visitors. Doesn't sound strange or off base to me."

"Keep reading," Hugh said, "Especially where it's continued. I think on page 5."

Rona rustled the paper and folded it back carefully so as to keep it from dipping into her bowl of oatmeal.

"I think I see what you mean," she smiled toward Hugh. "It's not just about service dogs. It also includes miniature horses."

"What? That can't possibly be true," Ed said, sitting to my right. "I have my own copy. I want to take a look for myself." He went right to page 5 and peered at the paper as if he couldn't believe his eyes. "I'll be darned, it does include miniature horses. What's that about?"

Charlotte, to the left of Rona, said, "Let me check the date of the paper. It could be an April Fools joke." She looked over Rona's shoulder. "Wrong, it today's paper."

"What's up with this?" Ed asked, "Must be that there's a miniature horse lobby that got them included on the list of approved service animals. Why would someone prefer a horse to a dog? You mean they could show up here at the Owl with a pony, claiming it's allowed in restaurants? I don't want to be insensitive about people with needs, but a horse--no matter how small--in a place where people are eating?"

"Can you housebreak a horse?" I asked, also not wanting to seem politically incorrect.  "Or would the horse have to wear a diaper?"

"Let me check on my iPhone," Ed offered, already scrolling through Google.

"What does it say?"

"Well, you could have fooled me. It says that the Americans With Disabilities Act was amended recently to allow miniature horses to work as service animals; and that for them to be permitted in public accommodations they have to be housebroken." I stared at him skeptically.  "So there you go."

"Let's ask Dave how he'd feel if a horse came into his restaurant. Even a miniature one."

We signaled to Dave, the owner of the Owl, to join us and Hugh filled him in. Dave is nothing but laconic and sly--through the years he's heard and seen it all. He stood there, taking this in, thinking hard about what he'd do.

"I suppose I'd have to let 'em in." He said, stroking his chin. "But no way I'd be feedin' 'em."

"You mean you wouldn't stock up on shredded wheat?" Ed joshed.

"Nope," Dave said. "But we do have Great Grains." He smiled and turned to head back to the kitchen.

Later that day I looked up the ADA and sure enough it does now allow miniature horses. But search as I did, I couldn't come up with an explanation as to why--what they can do that dogs can't. But it does appear they can be housebroken.