June 20, 2013--Bromances

I don't know about this Chris Christie.

First, in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, he trailed around after Barack Obama with romance in his eyes. Some in the GOP will never forgive Christie for commending the president and walking hand-in-hand with him a few weeks before last November's election and then again this Memorial Day weekend when they frolicked together on the Jersey Shore.

Republicans claim Romney would have won if it wasn't for Chris. I say Mitt was cooked after that 47 percent tape surfaced. But those dead-enders will cling to anything it takes not to have to face reality--that Obama somehow managed to be the only Democrat since FDR to win back-to-back elections by absolute majorities.

And then last week, when Jack Abramoff's former best friend, Ralph Reed, convened a meeting of his new organization, the Faith and Freedom Coalition, and invited to its annual meeting the high-flying contenders for the 2016 nomination--Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Rand Paul, Rick Santorum, and Jeb Bush (what was he doing there?), Christie opted out so he could participate in a very public sit-down conversation with Bill Clinton at the Chicago convocation of the Clinton Global Initiative, broadened now and renamed the Bill, Hillary, and Chelsea Clinton Global Initiative.

Bad timing, Christie claimed with a straight face--too little time, too many fun things to do.

Chris and Bill literally cooed at each other, recognizing in their doppelgänger one of the two best natural politicians of their generations. This after Hillary, the all-but-annointed 2016 Democratic nominee, gave a wonky speech that was so boring that Bill was seen catching a few winks.

Round one of Clinton-versus-Christie goes to Chris with Bill serving perversely as his trainer and biggest booster.

I can only imagine what Hillary must be thinking.

First, in 2008, Bill torpedoed her candidacy by getting down and dirty (and racist) with Barack. Then, after Obama was nominated, he ran around with him as if he was his newest best friend, even saving his 2012 renomination convention from terminal boredom. The former Commander in Chief emerged as the Explainer in Chief; and, though he undoubtedly envied Clinton's ability to connect, Obama romped back to the White House. In exchange, to demonstrate to Obama there is no free lunch, Bill got together with John McCain last week to trash Obama's Syria policy.

And you of course heard that Christie, realizing he would never get elected weighing 500 pounds (his vice president would on day-one be advised to begin to order new drapes for the Oval Office), because of this he had lap band surgery and is already down to being just grossly obese.

If he loses much more and starts looking like just another Weight Watchers alum, joining Terry Bradshaw, Don Shula, and Kirstie Alley, he will lose his superhero look and maybe half his followers. Being massive and yet light on his feet is a large part of his charisma and power. If he winds up weighing 180, it will be Hillary in a walk since during fearful times we can sure use a superhero or two to take care of us, and by then Hillary will be fitted out as Wonder Woman.