January 16, 2015--Size Matters

The one place size really matters is when it come to the size of one's apartment, condo, or house.

We're talking less about the number of bed and bath rooms (though this counts too) but square footage. And we're not talking about how much square footage one needs to be comfortable--700 per person is more than enough--but how much square footage one needs to feel, literally, like the king of the hill. In this case we could be talking about seven bedroom-seven bathroom houses ranging upwards from 10,000 to 20,000 square feet. Places that begin at $5.0 million and could set you back $75 million or more.

Mine is bigger than yours is the name of the game.

A cautionary tale--

Out in Malibu, ordinances restrict houses to no more than 11,100 square feet; and so back in 2007 when Hong Kong multi-multimillionaire Hiroshi Horiike saw one advertised by Coldwell that was 15,000 square feet and was going for only $12.25 million he plunked down cash and was a happy camper.

Happy, that is, until more recently when he wanted to add a sunroom and, after submitting plans to the county planning commission, learned that the house was not 15,000 square feet as advertised but a mere 10,000. So he is suing everyone in sight, especially the celebrity broker, Chris Cortazzo, who sold him the house. The same Cortazzo who peddled properties to Ellen DeGeneres. Pamela Anderson, Kid Rock, and other such luminaries.

I think he has a strong case and understand why he would want $5.0 million in damages; but here's what I don't understand--

Mr. Horiike seemed to like his Tuscan-style mansion enough to want to add a sunroom so why is he now so unhappy with it? Because he feels tricked? Because he feels like a fool for not having someone independently verify the square footage? Didn't he realize that real estate brokers can be a lower form of life right down there with used car salesmen?

Not for any of these understandable reasons. In his own words, according to a story in the New York Times, the house he loved when he learned it's a third smaller than he thought, he no longer loves--

"I don't love my house. It has become a bad dream. It has broken my heart and broke my dream about American people. Before I thought everything here is beautiful. And perfect."

So he didn't love the house. He love its size. Not a size that offered him enough space to roll around in and feel happy but the size itself. Or at least the idea of it.