Monday, August 31, 2015

August 31, 2015--MTV Video Music Awards

For some inexplicable reason I stayed up very late last night to watch the MTV Video Music Awards.

I am not the best reporter about things popular musical, so take take this for the very little it's worth.

To tell the truth the only people I ever heard of before the show were Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian. The later, Kim, isn't even a musical person far as I know except she's married (I think they're married) to someone named Kanye West, who seems to be important for various things except for what he was wearing---a rumpled outfit that was last seen on a hospital orderly.

They were sitting in the first row, seemingly side-by-side, which the host, or hostess, Miley Cyrus, who wore at least a dozen outfits with progressively less fabric, kept making a big deal about. There appeared to be bad blood between them though toward the end, with me more than half-asleep, Swift gave him, Kanye, what appeared to be an MTV lifetime achievement award of some kind.

Which led to him, Kanye, making a speech that lasted for what felt like at least half an hour, most of the time taken up with him scratching his shaved head with the microphone. Not one word of which I understood. But that's just me.

Now sitting side-by-side, wife Kim and bad-blood-new-best-friend, Taylor, seemed to be enjoying what he was saying since they clapped continuously and appeared to have tears running down their Cover Girl makeup (a sponsor along with Trojan ribbed condoms).

Then, toss Nicki Minaj into the mix, apparently more bad blood between her and Taylor Swift, and it all began to make sense.

The whole thing seemed to be about skinny white girls and more full-figured black girls with exceptionally large tushies.

It looks as if Taylor Swift doesn't go anywhere without at least a dozen such skinny-white-girl "friends." They reminded me of the midget Michael Jackson used to take with him wherever he went, including the MTV Awards, where, also ensconced in the first row, he would sit with the little fella on his lap.

Kim and Kanye and Niki, I forgot to mention, travel with possess of their own--bulky black guys.

It became clear that there have been all sorts of feuds with poor Taylor in the middle of them. Kanye, I think, was saying that he regrets having snatched an award from Taylor a couple of years ago that he felt should have gone to his Rubenesque best friend Beyonce. Racism he claimed at the time. Skinny white girls versus more voluptuous black girls.

But he sort of really didn't say that, Rona clarified for me (she too was for some reason was still awake). To her hearing he still sounded defiant. 

I also failed to mention that much was made of his, Kanye's, wife Kim's butt. This made things complicated because she's a white girl but has a butt about the same size as Nicki's. Posteriors being the show's sub theme. And it's not just because she's pregnant and Kanye smoked a reefer, he reported, before turning out of the show. Maybe that's why he didn't have time to change his scrubs.

Miley, on the other hand, is quite another story. 

Time for me to go back to bed. Right?

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