September 5, 2017--Sinners Wanted

Among the reasons I love this small town. 

This, from among the help wanted ads in this week's Lincoln County News:

Local church seeks sinners of all levels and abilities for fellowship with existing congregation of like-minded individuals. We have been instructed by our Leader to recruit addicts, liars, adulterers, and all manner of other sinners great and small for weekly gatherings, possibly leading to joy and happiness. Our Management is known to be greatly open-minded and our employees are under explicit orders not to judge each other.

You will find that the only requirement for employment is to meet our Boss and follow His instructions to the best of your abilities. 

Our organization has a 2,000 year plus history of accepting and prospering with individuals who have recently spent their lives in misery attempting fruitless efforts with our competitors at Satan Industries.

Benefits include the free gift of our CEO's love, forgiveness for all transgressions past, present, and future; freedom from fear and mortal circumstances; a generous emotional and spiritual health plan including guilt removal therapy; and extended vacations from the bondage of sin. Simple acceptance of the plan offered will lead to guaranteed rewards both immediate and extended to eternity.

Applications accepted at the 1st Baptist Church of Waldoboro located on Grace Avenue just off Rte. 1 in Waldoboro.

Sunday services at 9:00 AM. Child care available.