May 23, 2018--Self-Driving Cars

Our car is getting on in years and so we've spent some time looking around to see if there is a car we could fall in love with and consider buying. Thus far, we haven't even had a whiff of infatuation. 

Here's the problem--

We are not on a strict budget so we've looked at everything from Chevys and Hondas to BMW's and Mercedes.

In all cases we have been repelled by most of the newfangled electronics that car manufacturers are trumpeting. Especially the auto-drive features. 

Here are a couple of examples of what I mean.

We road-tested an Audi and found aspects of it attractive. But others not so much. Every time we needed to stop for a red light or in stop-and-go traffic, the engine would shut off. Completely. It would start up again whenever I would press the accelerator pedal. At first I thought I was doing something wrong--stalling it out--or that the car was defective.

The salesman assured us that this was not so but that all Audis now come with this feature--they shut fully off at every stop to save gasoline. Very little, he acknowledged, but under pressure to make cars more fuel efficient (this was before Donald Trump had the government back off on these requirements) this was one way of helping with that. 

"Can it be overridden?" I asked. 

"Yes," he said, reaching for the dashboard from the back seat. "You press this button first and next this one and then this third one."

"That sounds OK," I said, "You do this once and you're set to go?"

"Not exactly," he said sheepishly, "You have to do it every time you start the car."

"Every time?" I was incredulous, "For me this is a killer virus."

"Scratch Audis off the list," Rona said, sounding disappointed.

Some time later we test drove a Mercedes C or E car. I can't remember which as I'm not much of a Mercedes aficionado. We had one once and hated it. There was always something wrong with the electrical system and after our third battery died we sold it back to the dealer at quite a loss. But by checking one out recently we felt we were being comprehensive and responsible.

To test it at speed we drove for a coupe of exits on I-95. At the second exit, the salesman in the back seat indicated it was time to turn around and head back to the showroom.

The exit on the right was a two lane affair and halfway into it it felt as if the power steering had failed and that I couldn't manually steer the car.

"We've got a problem," I declared. I also felt the seatbelt tightening, which signaled we were about to crash. In a panic I cried out, "Hang on. We're in trouble."

"Quite the contrary the salesman said, "It's just that you drifted to the right and the car's automatic lane-adjustment feature kicked in and is pulling you back into your lane. It's keeping you safe." 

In the rearview mirror I could see him grinning with pride.

I asked again about being able to override this "feature," and again was told it is possible. "When we get back to the shop I'll get one of our technical people to show you how to do it."

"Technical people?" I said feeling that needing this much expertise might be overkill.

"Well, it's a little complicated," the salesman said.

Rona said, "Cross Mercedes off the list," even though it hadn't been among those likely to appeal to us.

This got me thinking--Who needs all of these so-called features? And moreover, what is this wave of a movement to make cars and trucks self-driving? I know they say it's for safety purposes--cars that drive themselves get into less trouble and fewer accidents then when driven by the likes of me. Evidence--my drifting out of lane at the I-95 exit.

But I hate it.

Call me old-fashioned (guilty). Call me curmudgeonry (guilty again). Call me reactionary (that too). But I hate this alleged evidence of progress. I'd rather be less safe. 

Let me drive my own car. It's one of those things left that I can do for myself, by myself without any external prompting or unwanted assistance.  Leave me alone. Actually, being alone driving a car on the occasional open road is still one of life's pleasures. For many it's also a place of refuge away from the demands and responsibilities and pressures of life. Including whining children and backseat drivers.