September 20, 2005--The Slammer
Seems as if everyone’s going to the slammer these days—Dennis Kozlowski, Tyco’s former CEO, just got 8 1/3 to 25 years in a New York State prison and Lil’ Kim is off to the Big House today for 366 days. For Kozlowski this will mean no more $2.0 million birthday parties (paid for by Tyco), and for Lil’ Kim it will mean considerable difficulty maintaining her “signature style,” to quote the NY Times shadenfreudian, “Much to Do Before Checking Into Prison” (see link below).
For Ms. Kim, who just last Wednesday was seated front and center at Marc Jacobs’ fall fashion show, prison life doesn’t have to be too radical a change in her life. Jacobs reports, for example, that he is standing by her. He told the Times that until now Winona Ryder T-shirts have been among his best sellers, but now he anticipates that his Lil’ Kim version, on sale around the country, will quickly outpace them. At $20 each they will likely be jumping off the shelves.
Lest one conclude that this is not an appropriate rehabilitation strategy for Lil’ Kim, and in fact it may not even be legal in NY State to profit from one’s crimes (there was a Son of Sam law put on the books to assure just that), should we be equally concerned about how Martha Stewart might be profiting? Now that she is free from home confinement and unshackled, in one episode of her new talk show, Martha (not her version of The Apprentice), the doyen taught audience members how to prepare microwave dishes she perfected while incarcerated.
So let’s think for a moment about what Mr. Kozlowski might be able to do to help him pass the time and pay his $75 million fine. One of Tyco’s businesses is ADT Security. To quote their website, “the world’s leader in electronic security.” So he certainly could consult with the Attica folks about improving theirs. And of course Tyco Healthcare is “a leading manufacturer of disposable medical supplies.” To say the least, there should be considerable demand for these products among his fellow inmates.
Might even improve his social standing, if you get my drift.
For Ms. Kim, who just last Wednesday was seated front and center at Marc Jacobs’ fall fashion show, prison life doesn’t have to be too radical a change in her life. Jacobs reports, for example, that he is standing by her. He told the Times that until now Winona Ryder T-shirts have been among his best sellers, but now he anticipates that his Lil’ Kim version, on sale around the country, will quickly outpace them. At $20 each they will likely be jumping off the shelves.
Lest one conclude that this is not an appropriate rehabilitation strategy for Lil’ Kim, and in fact it may not even be legal in NY State to profit from one’s crimes (there was a Son of Sam law put on the books to assure just that), should we be equally concerned about how Martha Stewart might be profiting? Now that she is free from home confinement and unshackled, in one episode of her new talk show, Martha (not her version of The Apprentice), the doyen taught audience members how to prepare microwave dishes she perfected while incarcerated.
So let’s think for a moment about what Mr. Kozlowski might be able to do to help him pass the time and pay his $75 million fine. One of Tyco’s businesses is ADT Security. To quote their website, “the world’s leader in electronic security.” So he certainly could consult with the Attica folks about improving theirs. And of course Tyco Healthcare is “a leading manufacturer of disposable medical supplies.” To say the least, there should be considerable demand for these products among his fellow inmates.
Might even improve his social standing, if you get my drift.
posted by Steven Zwerling at
10:27 AM
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