October 28, 2005--Fanaticisms VI--Let Your Fingers Do the Praying

Did you read about the Religious War that broke out in the Yellow Pages? Between the Jews and the Jews. Well, actually between the Rabbi of Temple Emanuel in Cherry Hill, New Jersey and the Camden County, New Jersey Jews for Jesus.

I have a few questions before I fill you in about all of this. Or send in my dispatches from the battlefield since I have been embedded in wars of this kind my whole life.

First of all, why do things of this sort always seem to happen in New Jersey? Can’t they just get along and worry together about who their governor is sleeping with and the cost of car insurance?

And then, who are these Jews for Jesus anyway? Every time I run into one of them in the subway they somehow know I’m a Jew and want me to read all kinds of cheaply printed literature. After doing some research, I now know they are a messianic group of Jews who believe that Jesus was in fact the Messiah and should be accepted as such by all Jews so that the end of the world can happen already and we can all go up to heaven. Traditional Jews, so called, suspect they are actually a part of an Evangelical plot to bring about the Rapture, the Antichrist, the Millennium, the Final Days, and yes heaven for all true Christians. Just Christians, not Jews. But we will have a final chance to convert before you know what. That’s the assignment for the J’s for J--to convert us. Well enough. That is until the War of the Yellow Pages erupted.

Yes, churches and synagogues do advertise in the Yellow Pages. It got complicated in NJ when Rabbi Lubetkin of Temple Emanuel, when looking for his ad under the heading, “Temples & Synagogues--Judaic” noticed that the heading that preceded that one was “Temples & Synagogues—Jewish—Messianic” and there he found a listing for Jews for Jesus (see full NY Times story linked below). He was outraged. Like other non-Messianic Jews he believes that one cannot worship Jesus and still be a Jew. To him and others like him Jews for Jesus is an abominable, sacrilegious oxymoron.

Rabbi Rosenberg, of the Camden County Jews for Jesus has his own problems with the Yellow Pages because in the 2005 SuperPages his synagogue is listed under the heading, “Clinics—Surgical.” I know, you are thinking this may be evidence of anti-Semitism—Verizon thinks all surgeons are Jews. But Rabbi Rosenberg has another thought—since the Methodist Church does not recognize or acknowledge the authenticity of Jews for Jesus he wants the Methodists listed under “Synagogues of Satan.” Trust me, I’m not making this up.

But I have one more question--why are all these synagogues and churches buying ads in the Yellow Pages?