October 4, 2007--President Clinton/Senator Clinton

The cover of this week’s New York Magazine features a Photoshoped picture on the cover of Bill Clinton in drag to draw attention to the lead article that speculates about what kind of First Lady he would make. This made me think about a number of relayed matters—first, if Judy Giuliani were running for president, the magazine art director would not have had to resort to digitalizing a picture of Rudy dressed up as a woman since when mayor he frequently appeared in drag, and there are thus lots of unmanipulated stock photos of him in high heels. Though he tended to use too much makeup, he still looked pretty cute. Then, I began to wonder, since the polls and pundits have not only assigned the Democratic nomination to Hillary but also the presidency, what would Governor Spitzer of New York do to replace her in the Senate? As governor he of course has that power, as does the governor of Idaho to name Larry Craig’s successor if he ever actually resigns. Spitzer could appoint himself. That sort of thing is not so uncommon. Since he got himself into all sorts of even legal trouble just weeks after being sworn in as governor, Hillary’s inevitable elevation could be his Get-out-of-Albany Free card. But as you might imagine in power-crazy New York, though no one wants to talk about this publicly, all sorts of Democrats are hovering around hoping to catch the bouquet. One of the more interesting names to emerge is Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. But others already on the short list, though unwilling to be quoted on the record, are saying, “Of course I’d take it, but I’m not going to grovel.” Though stay tuned because groveling will before too long be on full flagrant display. (See NY Times article linked below.) But since this is New York and Hillary is a woman, there is already pressure building on Gov. Spitzer to appoint a women or minority. For this I have an easy solution that will satisfy all constituencies—Spitzer should appoint Bill Clinton to replace Hillary just as she is apparently going to be replacing him. This has a number of advantages—first, it would allow Hillary to get Bill out of the White House--or more likely the Dog House, which is where I assume Hillary will assign him after she is elected. She won’t be needing need him any longer and will finally be able to extract retribution. Second, if Bill is in the Senate, if Hillary does anything impeachable, he will be right there to lead her defense since she surely won’t be able to count on poor Chuck Schumer to play that role. Then, to take the heat off Gov. Spitzer to appoint a woman or a Black, since Bill is a Metrosexual and thus already half female and since he already was our “first African-American President,” he could then also be New York’s first Black Senator. Now that we’ve got this settled, let’s get back to the important stuff—what to do about General Petraeus and MoveOn and Media Matters and Rush Limbaugh.