October 8, 2007--Izzy Columbus Day

Today some of us are celebrating Columbus Day. Forget for the moment that it should be on October 12th and that it got its big launch in New York City by Joseph Bonnano, head of one of the city’s “organized crime families”—he wanted to show New Yorkers that he wasn’t just a killer, loan shark, and heroin importer but also a fun guy. Also forget that Columbus didn’t “discover” America. There were, thank-you-very-much, other folks here for at least 10,000 years before he landed and the first Europeans to stumble upon what they eventually called America were Scandinavian Vikings. Italian-Americans and Scandinavian-Americans have been fighting about this for decades. So near the Verrazano Bridge (named for the Italian “discoverer” of New York harbor, after Henry Hudson of course--who was English) we have Leif Erickson Drive, a puny bit of roadway that borders on the neighborhood in Brooklyn where Norwegians live. What you should really be paying attention to as you celebrate is Christopher’s origins. Was he really Italian, as we were taught in school, born and raised in Genoa in spite of his anglicized name? (Recall that “English” explorer John Cabot was in fact Caboto and decidedly Italian.) But Hudson, Cabot, Erickson, Verrazano are all small-time discoverers when compared to Christopho Colom, to give him something closer to one version of his actual name. He, after, all discovered our country, not just a river or a bay or ice-clogged Newfoundland. So to figure out if he was actually Italian or Portuguese or Spanish (all of which have been speculated) is a big deal in terms of ethnic and national pride. All the squabbling may soon be over since Gabino Colom Rosada of Barcelona is currently undergoing DNA testing to see if he is a distant relative of CC and, if so, thereby “prove” that Columbus was Spanish. Or, more nationalistically, Catalonian. A Spanish geneticist has somehow gotten permission to extract a few hunks of Columbus’ bones from his tomb in Seville and will use it to compare with Senior Rosada’s and others, if necessary. Forget for the moment that the Columbus tomb in the cathedral in Seville may not in fact contain Columbus’ remains. (See NY Times article linked below.) Not to be outdone, Italian geneticists are testing the DNA of a host of fellow countrymen with the last name Colombo to prove once and for all that CC was in fact . . . . Then even citizens of my favorite little island, Mallorca, are also trying to horn in on the act. The island council president has paid a scientist at the University of Granada to test the exhumed body of the Mallorquin prince Carlos of Viana who reportedly fathered a son with a woman on the island whose last name was Colon. I’m rooting for this latter claim to paternity since it will certainly contribute to increasing property values on our flat on Mallorca. But there is a bigger problem looming—Columbus, whether Spanish, Italian, or Portuguese, may turn out to be Jewish! Growing up my family always claimed there was a natural affinity between Jews and Italians (I always thought because we both so much liked to cook and eat), but I can do without this theory. It claims that Columbus used Hebrew symbols and dates in some of his writing and in his will asked that “one half-mark of silver” be given to a beggar at the “gate of the Jewish district” in Lisbon. If you ask me, rather than wait for the genetic test results which could prove this (there are certain DNA markers that are strongly associated with Jewishness—let’s not get into these details here) let’s look through the library in Seville devoted to things pertaining to the New World since I assume it might contain Columbus’ bar mitzvah album. And if he does turn out to be Jewish, can we please keep that private? Jews are already in enough trouble around the world without getting the American Indian community all riled up about us.