November 25, 2008--Dancing With the FBI
I have a confession—now that Barack Obama is safely elected, I have turned my attention to the other national election: which couple tonight on Dancing With the Stars will take home the Mirror Ball Trophy? A trophy so coveted by the participants that retired pro footballer Warren Sapp said yesterday that to win it would mean more to him than his Super Bowl ring.
Will Warren prevail, I tossed and turned last night, in spite of his continuing lack of technical dancing skills? Will his popularity with fans carry him to victory?
Or will Lance Bass of *NSYNC fame, who has been coming on strong the past few weeks, be able to project his boyish punkiness to enough voters to bring him the trophy?
But then there is the gorgeous and sinuous Brooke Burke, the final finalist, who wowed the judges with her free style performance, a performance so smashing that curmudgeonly chief judge Len Goodman called it the best he had ever seen? Will enough fans with conservative values still vote for her in spite of the fact that she is a former Playboy centerfold? Or will enough guys who still covet that issue overcome those family-values voters?
I am not one to predict the outcome. I had thought that the kids from Staten Island would win the junior competition. But what do I know. The kids from New Jersey won. I had liked my little ones so much that I wanted to vote for them. Though addicted to Dancing I had never voted before, fearing the Department of Homeland Security, which monitors all telephone calls and text messages, would find out and then expose me for what I am—someone who pretends to be above these culturally debased entertainments, who looks forward to Monday nights even more than Bill Moyers Journal or Meet the Press or whatever, but is in reality a closeted Dancing fanatic.
In spite of this fear I had been tempted to vote for them; but as I reached for the telephone Rona said she’d divorce me if I did. She’s as eager to watch as I but not yet ready to fess up. Though I suppose I just outed her!
I’m so into it that a dear friend, who here would probably prefer to remain anonymous—she has a big job and I’m not sure she would want her colleagues to know how she spends her Monday and Tuesday nights: they think she’s reading reports—sends me the latest news and gossip. She, for example, ruined last week for me when she told me that my favorite (OK, I have a crush on her) Julianne Hough will not be returning next season. After hearing that I asked my doctor to up my Klonopin prescription since I’ll be needing those pills to help get me from now until she returns.
It’s my nature to worry about everything and everyone so if you know how Misty May is doing after breaking her tibia on the show last month or if it’s true that 82 year-old Cloris Leachman really does have pneumonia, I’d appreciate hearing from you.
OK, so I did vote for the finalist of my choice. Five times, in fact. Just like in the good-old-days in Chicago when everyone voted five times. Though don’t expect me to tell you for whom. This is still America and our ballots are secret.
But then again there is the Bush Administration listening in, and how I voted is probably right now on its way to my FBI file.
Will Warren prevail, I tossed and turned last night, in spite of his continuing lack of technical dancing skills? Will his popularity with fans carry him to victory?
Or will Lance Bass of *NSYNC fame, who has been coming on strong the past few weeks, be able to project his boyish punkiness to enough voters to bring him the trophy?
But then there is the gorgeous and sinuous Brooke Burke, the final finalist, who wowed the judges with her free style performance, a performance so smashing that curmudgeonly chief judge Len Goodman called it the best he had ever seen? Will enough fans with conservative values still vote for her in spite of the fact that she is a former Playboy centerfold? Or will enough guys who still covet that issue overcome those family-values voters?
I am not one to predict the outcome. I had thought that the kids from Staten Island would win the junior competition. But what do I know. The kids from New Jersey won. I had liked my little ones so much that I wanted to vote for them. Though addicted to Dancing I had never voted before, fearing the Department of Homeland Security, which monitors all telephone calls and text messages, would find out and then expose me for what I am—someone who pretends to be above these culturally debased entertainments, who looks forward to Monday nights even more than Bill Moyers Journal or Meet the Press or whatever, but is in reality a closeted Dancing fanatic.
In spite of this fear I had been tempted to vote for them; but as I reached for the telephone Rona said she’d divorce me if I did. She’s as eager to watch as I but not yet ready to fess up. Though I suppose I just outed her!
I’m so into it that a dear friend, who here would probably prefer to remain anonymous—she has a big job and I’m not sure she would want her colleagues to know how she spends her Monday and Tuesday nights: they think she’s reading reports—sends me the latest news and gossip. She, for example, ruined last week for me when she told me that my favorite (OK, I have a crush on her) Julianne Hough will not be returning next season. After hearing that I asked my doctor to up my Klonopin prescription since I’ll be needing those pills to help get me from now until she returns.
It’s my nature to worry about everything and everyone so if you know how Misty May is doing after breaking her tibia on the show last month or if it’s true that 82 year-old Cloris Leachman really does have pneumonia, I’d appreciate hearing from you.
OK, so I did vote for the finalist of my choice. Five times, in fact. Just like in the good-old-days in Chicago when everyone voted five times. Though don’t expect me to tell you for whom. This is still America and our ballots are secret.
But then again there is the Bush Administration listening in, and how I voted is probably right now on its way to my FBI file.
posted by Steven Zwerling at
11:06 AM
2 Comments:
The government already knows where you're going and where you've been because of ez pass and those little cameras on every street corner of the big apple...and I bet they know everything else about you because they read your blog too! However, I am confident that one in government could ever track how viewers voted for their favortie DWTS--those phone lines and internet connections to ABC are secure!
Only 2 and a half months until the next season begins (usually mid February and ends in early May, during Sweeps week!) Maybe I'll try to read a book, or a newspaper or go out to dinner with friends Monday/Tuesday nights until then...isn't that what that recent article said truly happy people did? Will let you know what makes me happier.... in the meantime, am watching Brook and Derek's freestyle over and over on YouTube...
xo
HR (aka Gala Girl)
Gala Girl
The government already knows where you're going and where you've been because of ez pass and those little cameras on every street corner of the big apple...and I bet they know everything else about you because they read your blog too! However, I am confident that no one from the FBI,CIA,ATFB, or Homeland Security could ever figure out how viewers voted for their favortie DWTS--those phone lines and internet connections to ABC are secure!
The good news is that it's now only two and a half months until the next season begins (probably by mid February and ends in early May, during Sweeps week!) Maybe I'll try to read a book, or a newspaper or go out to dinner with friends Monday/Tuesday nights until then...isn't that what that recent article said truly happy people did? Will let you know what makes me happier.... in the meantime, am watching Brook and Derek's freestyle over and over on YouTube...
xo
HR (aka Gala Girl)
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