February 11, 2010--The Ladies of Forest Trace: Congressional Jujitsu

Did you do like I said and check with the funeral home about my pre-paid arrangements?” It was my nearly 102-year-old mother calling.

“Is everything all right?” Any mention by her about funerals, especially her own, was cause for concern.

“I’m fine, thank you. But I’m not getting any younger and want to make sure everything’s in order for when the time comes.” She is very organized and fastidious and for decades making plans for her own passing has been at the top of her agenda.

“Yes, mom, you asked me to and I did.”

“So what did you find out? Will they still honor the contract even though I paid them for it 20 years ago? There’s been inflation and the original funeral parlor is no longer in business and I believe they transferred their contracts to someone else. Star of Israel I think.”

“You’re right about that and, yes, the new place has your contract, knows what you want, and will do everything for the original price. No need to do anything or give them more money. So you’re all set.” As these last words were spoken I realized, in this somber context, I didn’t mean them literally, and so I quickly added, “I mean everything has been taken care of. There is nothing for you to worry about.”

“I am not worried, at least not about this, but I am also, as you put it, ‘all set’ even if it happens tonight.”

Wanting to change the subject, though I was not eager to hear about other worries, I have a few of my own at the moment that are preoccupying me, still I asked, “If not that, then what are you worried about?”

“To tell you the truth, I’m not worried. I’m concerned.”

“OK then, what is concerning you?”

“You know me well enough by now, the girls here and I are concerned about what is going on in Washington.”

“What is it this time?”

“Don’t be exasperated with me. What’s wrong with being concerned? There’s a lot to be concerned about. I assume you’ve been reading your favorite New York Times and watching television, though why you spend so much time listening to that Keith person you keep telling me about is beyond me.”

“Keith Olbermann. On MSNBC. I like him.”

“Sometimes I watch him. I used to like him but lately he’s beginning to resemble that person on Fox he’s always attacking. Reilly. He’s just as strident and biased, though of course in a different direction.”

Wanting to change this subject as well, with some trepidation, I asked, “So tell me what you’re so concerned about.”

“Not so concerned. Just concerned. Which is enough.”

“Please, I have an appointment,” which wasn’t true, I frankly wanted to preserve my peaceful afternoon, “just tell me.”

“I hear how you’re annoyed with me,” after all these years I am incapable of getting away with anything when it comes to her, “so I’ll be brief.” I thought to say I was fine with whatever she wanted to discuss but restrained myself. “Have you been following the Republican shenanigans?”

“There are so many. Which ones are you referring to?”

“The Congress. With the Congress.”

“Again, mom, there are so many to choose from so why not just tell me which one is concerning you.”

“Over breakfast the other morning some of the ladies I eat with were saying they think they’re winning. And I agree. We’re all very upset.”

“With what? And who’s winning? The Republicans? Really? All the polls show that the Republicans in Congress are even more unfavorably viewed than the Democrats. I forget the exact numbers, but they’re perceived, aren’t they, as being very negative?”

“Our point exactly. They are doing worse than the Democrats but still they’re winning.”

“Now you have me completely confused.”

“Let me unconfuse you. Do you have a minute? Or are you running off somewhere?” I didn’t respond. “Good. Here’s what I’m thinking. We both agree, don’t we, that they really don’t want to work with the Democrats. In a bipartisan way I mean. We agree with this, no?” Again I said nothing. “Good. But this is not working for them. At least in regard to their poll numbers. The public feels the Republicans are not cooperating and the public wants to see the Congress and the president get some things done for the good of the country. Agreed?” Still silence from me. “Good. So why then if not cooperating is harming them in the poll numbers, why then do they still not want to work with Obama and the Democrats? Isn’t this, how do you say it, like shooting themselves in the leg?”

“Foot.”

“What?”

“Foot, mom. That’s where they’re shooting themselves.”

“Leg. Foot. Arm. Who cares? This is what they’re doing to themselves. We agree, yes?” Once more I didn’t say anything. “Good. That is not making any sense. At least that’s what you would think.” She paused and then added, “Maybe not you, but that’s what I think. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Feeling a little insulted, I muttered, “You’ve lost me.”

“That I would never want to do. But this is not what we’re talking about. What we’re talking about is why the Republicans continue to do things that are bringing them down in the eyes of the public. Are they simply oblivious in that cocoon up there in Washington or are they maybe crazy like a fox.”

I confessed, “I’m still lost.”

“Look, they don’t have any power except to make a mess of things. So this they have chosen to do. Make a mess. I saw what you had to say about why that senator from wherever he’s from is holding up all of Obama’s appointments.”

“That’s Richard Shelby from Alabama. He wants money for some pet projects of his own and until he gets it he’s holding about 70 Obama appointments hostage.”

“I know that’s what they’re saying on TV. And one part of me believes that. He’s just another hypocrite complaining about the deficit and spending but he wants to spend billions in his own home state. Yes he should be exposed for doing that. That’s important. But I think what he’s doing is part of a larger plan. You know me, I’m from Russia originally and all Russians see everything to be a conspiracy. Well, you know sometimes there really is a conspiracy. Like in this case. And the girls agree. To Bertha it’s still Russia here.”

“Go on,” this was beginning to be interesting.

“As I said the only power they have is to stop Obama and the Democrats from completing their agenda. And at the moment the polls seem to be saying that it’s the Republican’s fault. Primarily their fault. But the polls are also saying that since the Democrats have big majorities it’s also their fault that nothing is being accomplished. They are saying a plague on both of your houses!

“But here’s why the Republican’s plan is so smart. They are risking falling lower and lower in the polls to the point that it looks like they will lose all the seats they now have. But you know almost all of them are from safe districts. I heard Wolf call them that on CNN, and so they’ll all get reelected. At least almost all of them. And though they are today seen as being obstructionists, and this is my main point, ultimately won’t the Democrat’s with their big majorities, and President Obama, with his big majority, be blamed?”

“I am understanding you. And maybe even coming to agree with you. It’s like jujitsu where you . . .”

“Like what? What do the Jews have to do with this?”

“Not the Jews, mom, but jujitsu, the Japanese form of combat, of fighting, where you turn your opponents strength against him. You need to put new batteries in your hearing aids. In Japan they call it ‘the art of softness.’ So what they are doing are like jujitsu. As you’re saying, the Republicans are absorbing the Democrats power—their majorities—and turning it back upon them. Brilliant. I hate it but it’s brilliant.”

“Thank you for the compliment,” I chose not to correct her to say that I was referring to the Republicans, not her, “but this is not exactly what I mean. Though I like the Japanese story. This is more like sacrificing yourself in order to gain an advantage. You know how your father liked to play checkers. Well, didn’t he tell us how at times you make a sacrifice to gain strength?”

“I think, mom, he told us about that as a chess strategy.”

“Chess. Checkers. Who cares which? With all due respects to your father, we’re talking here about more important things than games.”

“Well, mom, to make your point, while we were talking, I just saw on the Internet the results of a new poll. By Rasmussen.”

“I knew you weren’t listening to me. You and that computer of yours. You always have your head in it.”

“That’s not true,” though it basically is, “I was listening. Very intently. But please listen now to me. To this. Their new poll, something they call a ‘Generic Congressional Ballot,’ shows that if the public were to vote today for a new Congress, Republicans would beat the Democrats by eight points. Forty-four percent would vote for Republican candidates for Congress but only 36 percent would vote for Democrats. Call it jujitsu; call it a Queen Sacrifice, but it appears to be working. For the Republicans that is. Just as you said.”

“And this is supposed to make me happy? That the ladies and I are right about such a terrible thing?” She sounded depressed at the news and her own validation. But in the next instant she returned to her optimistic self. At least as optimistic as someone born in Russia is capable of being.

“So here’s what we have to do. What they have to do. Obama and the Democrats. They have to do some jujitsuing of their own. Have that meeting at the end of the month—the president and leaders from both parties. The Democrats have to show that they want to work together with the Republicans. That they want to reach compromises for the sake of the American people. If the Republicans continue to block everything, it will reveal what they are really up to. So their basic strategy and strength will be turned against them. Their ability to say no. But then if they cooperate and they allow legislation to be approved, who will get the credit? Just as I said, and your Rasmussen shows, the Democrats are now getting the blame for nothing happening because they have the majority even though the Republicans are the ones mainly responsible for this. But, by the same token, if things do get accomplished the Democrats will get the credit as they are now getting the blame. For the same reason.”

I could sense her smiling at her own insight. “Another thing I know: the current situation can be turned into a two-edged sword. And you know how quickly things like poll numbers can turn around. One thing is for sure, about this we also agree, am I correct?” I returned to not responding. “Good. What we agree about is that nobody in the country any more likes anyone in Washington. The public is fickle and everything is subject to change and can swing first in one direction and then quickly in another. It’s a long time between now and November, and if the economy gets a little better, well, as I approach 103 there will be many things to feel good about. And I don't just mean things that will benefit Democrats, but rather all of us.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Well, at least what I’m saying is possible. But as I said they have to be smart. And since I want to be here to see how things work out, please tell that funeral parlor of yours that I’m not ready to avail myself of their services.”

“About that,” I said, “we surely agree.”