January 13, 2011--The "Me" Marriage
So what else is new. As the first Baby Boomers this year turn 65, the famous Me Generation, the latest thinking on what constitutes a happy and successful marriage is the Me Marriage.
According to a recent article in the New York Times the Me Marriage is less about the traditional values of shared communications, the mutual fostering of mental well being, support in social situations, and stress reduction but more a relationship that contributes to each individual's personal satisfaction.
Psychologists have been studying how people use relationships to gather knowledge and experiences via a process they call "self-expansion" and are concluding that the more self-expansive people become through a relationship the more satisfied they are with that relationship. In spite of the fact that this kind of mutuality may sound as self-serving as it is self-expanding, researchers are claiming that it leads to stronger, more enduring relationships.
To measure how well individuals are doing in regard to self-expansion, they have developed a series of questions to quantify it.
Of course, self-involved as I am, I was curious to see how well I was doing in my marriage and so I managed to put my hands on the questions. I have linked them below so you can also check yourself out.
If you do not have the time, here is a sample. Mark yourself on a scale of (1) to (7), with (1) being not very much and (7) very much.
I gave myself 7s on all of these and thus, according to the creators of the test, I am--
Well, of course.
Not "of course" because I'm "highly expressive," but "of course" because I scored off the charts since I am self-expansive and gave myself all 7s.
According to a recent article in the New York Times the Me Marriage is less about the traditional values of shared communications, the mutual fostering of mental well being, support in social situations, and stress reduction but more a relationship that contributes to each individual's personal satisfaction.
Psychologists have been studying how people use relationships to gather knowledge and experiences via a process they call "self-expansion" and are concluding that the more self-expansive people become through a relationship the more satisfied they are with that relationship. In spite of the fact that this kind of mutuality may sound as self-serving as it is self-expanding, researchers are claiming that it leads to stronger, more enduring relationships.
To measure how well individuals are doing in regard to self-expansion, they have developed a series of questions to quantify it.
Of course, self-involved as I am, I was curious to see how well I was doing in my marriage and so I managed to put my hands on the questions. I have linked them below so you can also check yourself out.
If you do not have the time, here is a sample. Mark yourself on a scale of (1) to (7), with (1) being not very much and (7) very much.
When you are with your partner, do you feel a greater awareness of things because of him or her?
How much does your partner increase your ability to accomplish new things?
How much does your partner help to expand your sense of the kind of person you are?
How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?
How much do your partner’s strengths as a person (skills, abilities, etc.) compensate for some of your own weaknesses as a person?
I gave myself 7s on all of these and thus, according to the creators of the test, I am--
Highly Expansive. You are gaining a lot of new experiences and reaching new goals as a result of your relationship. Chances are you have a happier, more sustainable relationship as a result.
Well, of course.
Not "of course" because I'm "highly expressive," but "of course" because I scored off the charts since I am self-expansive and gave myself all 7s.
posted by Steven Zwerling at
5:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home