July 7, 2011--The Dirt Under His Feet

I am a lifelong Yankee fan, which wasn't easy growing up in Brooklyn where the Dodgers were worshipped. And thus I am caught up with Derek Jeter's pursuit of 3,000 hits. As I write this he has 2,997 after going 1 for 3 last night against the Indians. Only 27 in all the history of baseball accumulated at least 3,000 and none while playing only for the Yankees. So this is a big deal.

What to me isn't a big deal is all the cashing in surrounding the impending event. According to an article in the New York Times(linked below), so-called baseball memorabilists have figured out dozens of ways to make a quick buck.

Scams, sorry, merchandising ideas--under the DK-3K logo--include selling commemorative T-shirts, caps, jerseys, bobble-head dolls, decals, wall murals, fabric patches, bats, baseballs, license plates, and cellphone skins, whatever they are.

More "authentic" and of course much more expensive will be the opportunity to shell out very big bucks for the actual bases Jeter touches when he gets his 3,000th hit. I suppose best would be if he were to hit a home run since that would mean they have four bases to hawk.

Then there are his spikes (shoes for the uninitiated) as well and his uniform, wrist bands, batting gloves, the bat itself of course, as well as his warm-up jacket and cap. No public mention of his unmentionables--his, well, jock and such--but I assume they will find their way to eBay.

There is even talk of his repeatedly changing his uniform after he gets his penultimate hit so there will be more to peddle.

Also there is the matter of the playing field itself. When the old Yankee Stadium was torn down after the new one was opened eager fans gobbled up bricks, seats, and even handfuls of the outfield grass. This time, after Jeter gets his 3,000th a grounds crewman will race around with a little shovel and pail to scoop up a bucket or two of infield dirt. That gathered at jeter's position, shortstop, will undoubtedly be the most valuable.

How to market teaspoon amounts of dirt is proving most challenging. But the sports hucksters are rising to the occasion. Small amounts of the sacred dirt will be put in tiny vials which in turn will be hooked to key chains or attached to necklaces. Some will be placed in disks which will then be mounted and framed with commemorative photographs. They are calling these "dirt collages." Why not. If collages worked for Picasso why not for Jeter.

This is out-and-out hagiography with jeter being represented to us as a saint of sports with everything he touches, runs on, or sweats in being pawned off and cherished as if they had the power of holy relics. But then again there is my Mickey Mantle rookie baseball card and my . . .