December 1, 2011--The Ladies of Forest Trace: The New Nuke

This time I placed the call. I was worried. Not about my 103-year-old mother—she continues to do remarkably well--but about what I saw unfolding in the Republican race for the presidential nomination. She is always a good touchstone for matters of this kind and I needed a little motherly reassurance that the world was not coming to an end.

“You called to wish me a happy birthday?” Since it is in June this confusion concerned me. Was she having another . . . ?

“I’m just having a little fun with you,” she quickly added, as usual knowing I was worried about her health. It’s November 28th which means I’m 103 and five months.”

“To tell you the truth I missed that. But . . .”

“But nothing. When you get to be my age you keep count like you do for babies. You know, ‘She’s 14-months old’ or ‘16-months.’ So I’m 103 and five months.” She chuckled, pleased with herself.

“I should have realized this and will make a note to call in late December when you’ll be 103 and a half. That will be something to celebrate.”

“You’ll be here in Florida by then so if I’m still here we can celebrate. I have a bottle of Champaign in the refrigerator that you left when you went back to New York in April. If it’s not spoiled.”

“I’m sure it’s still good.”

“I kept it lying down as you told me to. But you didn’t call to talk about Champaign.”

“That’s true. I called to talk with you about Gingrich. Now with him in first place in the polls and with Obama so weak I’m worried that not only can he get the nomination but he might even manage to get elected. People are so angry that they’re capable of doing almost anything.”

“To tell you the truth, I too am worried about Nuke.”

“Mom, his first name is not . . .” I stopped myself from correcting her since her malaprop, Nuke, seemed so appropriate.

“I was hoping you would reassure me,” I said, “that this is not possible. That you would feel that when it came right down to it people wouldn’t vote for him—I mean in the general election—because of all his baggage.”

“Such as?”

“You know. You follow the news.”

“Yes. In the Herald and on CNN. I listen to Wolf every night in the Institution Room. I like him. He’s Jewish, isn’t he?”

“I think so, but that doesn’t mean . . .”

“I know what you’re going to say; but to me it does. To those of us who remember the Nazis and the anti-Semitism here these things are important.”

“I understand.” And since I really do I left it at that.

“But what were you expecting me to say? That it would be a good thing if Nuke is nominated? That he would be easier to beat that that smooth-talking flip-flopper Romney?”

“Yes. That you would confirm that Gingrich is part of the Washington establishment at a time when people want to throw everyone out, that he has used his position to make millions while serving as a lobbyist and influence peddler, that devout religious people won’t vote for someone for president who has had three wives and committed adultery while trying to remove Bill Clinton from office because of Monica Lewinsky, that his hypocrisy is so extensive that it makes everyone else working in Washington look like straight shooters, that . . . “

“I know the list. I not only watch CNN but Fox too and even they are finding fault with him.”

“That’s my point. That’s what I was hoping you would confirm—that people know about his past and ultimately won’t vote for him. They know he was forced to resign the Speakership because he cheated on his taxes, and they resent how much he spent on his wife at Tiffany’s. I assumed you would feel the same way. But yet . . .” I paused, genuinely confused about my feelings.

“But yet you’re still worried,” my mother picked up where I broke off, “You’re still worried that at this mixed-up time people will ignore what they know about him and because they are so angry and so many hate Obama—including for ugly reasons we do not need to discuss—that he will figure out a way not only to get nominated but also to beat Obama. He may be dishonest and a hypocrite but he is smart and a good debator. People think he knows what he is talking about and that he exudes a lot of self-confidence. Some of the ladies here are already telling me they like that about him. And remember the last time all the girls voted for Obama.”

“The ladies you say like Gingrich even when he’s lying and making things up?”

“Yes. And, sadly, maybe for those reasons.”

“But as time goes by people will remember these things about him, won’t they, and become disenchanted just as they have turned away from the other frontrunners like Rick Perry and Herman Cain? So we shouldn’t be too concerned, right?”

“I’m not so sure.”

“I’m not following you. Are you saying that Gingrich can win both the nomination and the election?”

“I am saying that’s possible.”

“But aren’t the pundits claiming it would be easier for Obama to beat Gingrich than Romney? That Romney’s problem is getting the nomination?”

“That may be, but as I already told you, I am not so sure.”

“Because? Say more.”

“Because Greenrich is coming across as a fresh face. And that’s what people want.”

“A ‘fresh face’?” I was becoming increasingly confused. “How can you say that? He’s been around Washington forever? At least since the 1980s. When Reagan was president.”

“That’s ancient history these days to people who think history began ten years ago.”

“Now you’re making my point for me.”

“Which one is that?” I was beginning to feel sorry I had called. I was hoping to come away from talking with my mother—as I have for many decades—calmed down and clear-headed.

“My point about history.”

“Now I’m not following you,” my mother said.

“That Gingrich has a long history of being part of the Washington establishment and after he left office of cashing in on his access to politicians. And that when people either recall this or for some for the first time learn about it he will either lose the nomination or, if he manages to win it, be defeated by Obama. No?”

“This all sounds good, but I am not so optimistic as you. After what I’ve witnessed during my lifetime it is not always so easy to be optimistic. Not about what the public knows or, when they are afraid and want to be taken care of, about what they are willing to open themselves up to learn. This is why so few study history any more. It makes people confused knowing what they would say is ‘too much.’”

“You may be right. Gingrich may get away with pretending that he is strong. The ladies are right about his seeming to be self-confident, which is something these days that masquerades as strength.”

“People are looking for certainty. Even if it’s misguided.”

“As it always is.”

“But here’s something to be optimistic about.”

“What’s that? I could use something to feel good about.”

“Do you think the American public is ready to vote for a man who spends hundreds of thousands of dollars on jewelry for his wife and then doesn’t pay his bill?”

“Maybe yes; maybe no. I’m afraid he’ll figure out some way to make it seem as if he’s struggling to pay his bills just like everyone else. Even from Tiffany’s.”

“OK. If that doesn’t make you feel better about his chances, do you think Americans will vote for someone whose wife has a hairdo like Nuke’s? With that little wing of hair glued to the side of her head?”

“You may be right about that. As usual, mom, whenever I talk to you I do somehow come away feeling better.”

“Goodbye darling.”

“And goodbye to you. We’ll see you in about ten days. Also, I almost forgot, happy 103rd and five-month birthday.”