March 21, 2012--More Fun

At news stands even in bad-old New York City, magazines such as Hustler come wrapped in Saran Wrap so you can't leaf through them and have their raunchy covers shielded with opaque plastic. This protects children and other sensitive folks from inadvertently seeing something inappropriate or potentially offensive.

But I was surprised the other day while standing in the checkout line in Publix to find the latest issue of Glamour magazine similalry shielded.

When I pointed this out to Rona, she said, "I haven't looked at Glamour in ages. To be covered like this it must have become very explicit."

I looked at the other magazines to see if maybe Publix too had changed and was now selling Maxim and Playboy and perhaps even Hustler. But they still had just the usual mix--People, US, Vanity Fair, Vogue, and of course supermarket tabloids such as the National Enquirer, Star, and the Globe.

"We should take a peek at the cover, shouldn't we?" I whispered, "Especially since it's the only one that's hidden."

"Only for the sake of doing research," Rona said.

So I slowly peeled back the plastic shield and first saw in the upper right-hand corner the headline--"Sexy Hair Ideas."

"That doesn't qualify," Rona said. "That isn't that offensive."

"Maybe it's this cleavage." I had the Glamour cover half revealed and there was a picture of Jennifer Lawrence (whoever she is) in a dress that revealed about three inches of modest cleavage.

"There's more cleavage showing in the Enquirer picture of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and it's unshielded. So that can't be the problem."

"I'm stumped," I said as I removed the rest of the plastic sleeve. "Wait. This must be why they have the cover blocked."

"It could be--'The Old School Sex Trick You Should Bust Out Again.' It's full of snarky double entendres. Trick and Bust.

"If anything," Rona said, "that sounds very conservative--you know, old school. Isn't that what conservatives are advocating--old school values?"

But also in the lower right-hand corner, in block letters, there was the teaser--"More Fun in Bed."

"That's got to be the reason for hiding the cover," I said.

"Exactly," Rona nodded, "In the current political climate you're not supposed to have fun in bed. You're supposed to not use contraception and sex in bed is reserved for making babies."

See for yourself--below, is the offending Glamour cover:



Hot stuff, no?