May 24, 2013--Topsiders

We were on our way to Home Depot on West 23rd Street when Rona pulled me into a shoe store with the funky name, Shoe-Gasm.

"Look at these," she said, pointing to a pair of low-heal sandals. "I've been looking for some just like this to replace a pair that are about to fall apart."

"They look good to me," I said, searching for a seat where I could wait with the New York Times while she tried on those and inevitably others.

Not wanting to be pressured by my hovering presence, Rona suggested I look around in the back where there were some men's shoes. "Maybe they have something in your size with soft innersoles. You've been meaning to find some since you hurt your knee."

This was true and so I drifted toward where they had a large display of Sperry Topsiders. I like them and thought perhaps some would provide the cushioning I now required. Besides, our Maine friend, Al, had sent an e-mail this week to let us know he had put his boat in the water and was hoping we would join him soon for some more explorations of Sheepscot Bay. The last time we did, he implied that if I wanted to fit in on his boat it would be a good idea to wear boat shoes. So the Topsiders were reaching out to me for two reasons--comfort and to fit in on Al's boat.

There was a pair that quickly caught my eye and I asked the salesman, a very cool-looking African-American guy, if they had them in size 13. "No problem," he assured me with a wink and within a few minutes had them for me to try on.

To my realtively-untutored eye they looked cool and with the interior padding, as I painlessly walked around in them they promised to receive a nod of approval from my orthopedist. Also, I thought, they'll likely pass Al's muster.

"You know," I said to the salesman, "I'm sure they'll be even more comfortable if I could put the laces in. I looked around in the box and couldn't find any." He was looking at me quizzically, as if I wasn't making sense. "From my experience they're always either in the eyelets or the box, but I can't seem to find these."

"That, my man, is because there aren't any."

"You mean in the box? You keep them separately? I suppose these days with the cost of things you must have guys trying on shoes who don't buy them but walk away with the laces."

With his hands on his hips he smiled at me as if I had said something funny. "You're not understanding, dude, these Topsiders don't come with laces. They're designed to stay on your feet without them; and without the laces you can even wear 'em at your favorite late-night club. You know, when you want to look extra hip."

By then Rona had joined us. She had found two pair to buy and was quite happy with her good fortune. Finding shoes that work for her is not an easy thing. "What's happening? I mean with you? Are they comfortable?" I nodded.  "And I like the way they look. Very cool."

"They're fine, but we can't find the shoelaces." I gestured to include the salesman in the "we."

"I keep telling him, lady, that these don't come with laces. If he wants to be cool (and he still looks good for someone of his--how shall I put this--years), he should think about getting with the program." He winked at me again to make sure I was OK with his having a little fun with me. I was.

"Look," Rona said, "you can always get laces for these if that's troubling you."

"But they're designed and engineered not to use laces," the salesman interjected. "You'd ruin them if you tried to stick in a pair. If you need something with laces, I may have some Eccos that could work for you. But," he shrugged, "they're not as today as these Sperrys."

"So what will it be?" Rona asked, "Comfort or cool?"

"What do you think Al would say?"

"I think he'd like you to look like you belong on his boat but also to be cool."

"Let me think about these," I said. "You've given me a lot to process. Maybe I need different shoes for New York City and Maine. Or . . ."

"At least I found two pair." Rona said, feeling good about herself. "You do your processing. I'm heading for Home Depot."