August 1, 2013--Oscar Weiner?

Now they're trying to figure out why he did it. Anthony Weiner.

He had the world in his hands. Sorry, let me put that another way--he was a prominent member (sorry again) of Congress, on TV all the time since he was such a provocative and quotable guest, he weaseled his way into the extended Clinton family by marrying Hillary's number-one assistant and surrogate daughter, Huma Abadin, and he even had a decent change to be elected mayor of New York City. The field of 12 candidates was and is so weak that even someone like Anthony Weiner, in spite of his confessed proclivities, stood out. Again, let me rephrase that--he looked good by comparison.

So, what's the story with him?

Now, after Weiner was forced to acknowledge he was not cured of his propensity to talk dirty on the Internet, the New York Times, in an effort not to let go of such a titillating story, assembled a few therapists and asked them to speculate about why Anthony Weiner can't seem to stop.

Some said he can't stop being bad because he may have a neurological problem. It's either hard-wired in his DNA or he has some sort of abnormality in his brain.

But, most psychologists and experts on sexual behavior offered more interesting possibilities--

Maybe there's trouble in his marriage. He's not getting enough of whatever it is he needs at home. Poor Huma. It's always the wife's fault. She not only has been accused by Michele Bachmann and everyone on Fox News that she and her family are members of the Muslim Brotherhood, now it's her fault that hubby can't stop sending around raunchy pictures of himself (actually, only certain parts of himself) because she can't satisfy him.

Other shrinks suggest he may have feelings of inadequacy about his masculinity (hello) that can only be assuaged by women he has never met. Or maybe he is insecure about his body image and so he sends around beefy images of himself to see if anyone on the Internet finds him attractive. So far, it appears, that none have.

Cornell's Dr. Richard Friedman says, "There's a type of narcissism that's based on self-esteem problems, in which the person then defensively covers up by saying, 'Aren't I wonderful? Look at my beautiful organ [not the musical kind]. Isn't it beautiful?"

I say, "Ugh."

Dr. Friedman adds, "It's as if you were being exposed [his word, not mine] to the mental processes of a 9-year-old boy."

Maybe he's a sex addict, some speculate, even though there is no agreement in the field of sexuality that there is such a syndrome. Dr. Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and author of books on infidelity claims that behavior such as Weiner's, even in the face of public humiliation, is a "hallmark of addiction."

And it is not helpful to think that these problems derive from being famous. Dr. Carol Bernstein says that, "Very talented people have the same potential issues for self-destructive behavior that everybody does."

Though being well-know may have some advantages: the fact that his problems--whatever their cause--are so publicly known could actually help him to recover. There is evidence that getting caught being naughty and then universally scorned is powerful motivation to seek treatment.

With all due respect to the sexuality experts and psychiatrists, I have a simple explanation for Weiner's behavior--he's just a jerk.

Two more things--

Can't the New York Times find some experts on this tender subject who aren't Jewish?

And, related, as Anthony Weiner thinks about next steps in his life--since becoming NYC's mayor is no longer an option--shouldn't he have his nose fixed and also do something about that name?

Maybe Oscar Meyer?

Still too Jewish.