March 14, 2017--Donaldcare's Death Panels

Among the few progressive policies he trumpeted during the campaign was Donald Trump's soft promise that he would make sure everyone in America, after repealing and replacing Obamacare, would have health insurance. That Donaldcare thus would be better.

With yesterday's Congressional Budget Office analysis of the Ryan-Trump replacement plans projecting that over the decade 24 million people currently on Obamacare would lose their insurance, that promise turns out to be another Trump lie.

OK, "alternative fact."

The CBO models are not flawless and Trump and most Republicans have been preemptively trashing the work and findings of this reliable nonpartisan office. But even if the CBO is over-estimating by half, this means that"only" 12 million would lose their coverage.  12 million.

Remember Michele Bachmann who back in 2012, while in the lead for a week in the polls for the Republican nomination, blatantly claimed, without evidence, that the Affordable Care Act called for "death panels" of government bureaucrats who would decide who to treat and who to let die?

Well, this is worse. Much.

This is a death panel policy on steroids.

If "just" one percent of those who would lose their care were to die because of that, that's 120,000 people who would die.

Less euphemistically, be killed.

Even less euphemistically, murdered, with the definition of murder "intent to kill," which this is.

The New York Times reports that the CBO's estimate that over the same decade $337 billion of government money would be saved is convincing fiscally conservative Republicans who didn't believe Donaldcare would "save" money are already softening their opposition to the Ryan-Trump plan.

Saving money--a good thing.

Saving lives--not so much.

Michele Bachmann

March 13, 2017--Ladies of Forest Trace: Not Resting

The Ladies are in a place of tranquility but they are not in repose.

I know this from my mother, who deserves to be at rest after more than 107 years of life. I discovered her state of agitation during a recent visit to Mt Lebanon Cemetery in Queens.

When I was a child we visited Mt. Lebanon regularly so that she could be with her parents and bring them news of the family and the world. We would sit together on the bench beside where her mother and father were and I would listen while she told them about Bertha's recovery from a stroke, Nina's trip to Israel, Eli's struggles with his creditors, Fanny's plans to move to Florida, news about Stalin, and how things were with my father.

About that, the state of her own marriage, she would whisper so I needed to lean close and strain to hear what she was reporting. Though I could not catch most of the words, I could tell from their tone and her trembling that things were not going well.

"He never . . . He always . . . ," she said and then tearfully would switch to Yiddish to protect me from being swept into her unhappiness. But from this and how she placed her arm around me and drew me close into the protective nest of her body, I knew her pain was real. And that to her I represented a sense of purpose. She was happy I was there with her, with the family.

More than sixty years later I again needed to be close to her and so, though I sat alone on that now crumbling bench, listening to the wind, I tried to pick up her emanations, the comfort she provided, and, on that chilly pre-spring afternoon, her still flickering warmth.

"The girls are so upset," she began. I could hear the pain in her voice.

"Tell me Mom."

"About him."

"Who?"

"Thump, Donald Thump."

I didn't correct her wonderful malaprops, which frequently revealed more than literal truth.

"You've been hearing about him?" I wasn't sure how information was acquired and shared by the Ladies now that they were no longer . . .

"All the terrible things he's doing. With immigrants--wasn't his own father an immigrant?--with minorities, with women, with health. And we are so afraid about Korea and Russia. Especially Russia. We know Russia. Two of the Ladies are from there and I was born in Poland, near the border. Russian Cossacks raided our village, Tulowice, when I was a little girl. My mother hid me and my sisters and brother in the root cellar below the floor of our log cabin. The evil things they did which I cannot tell you about."

"You can tell me, Mom. You can tell me anything."

"You're still young and I don't want to upset you. You should be enjoying life."

Only someone who lived to 107 would consider me to be young. It was this kind of affirmation that I loved and which I greedily still needed.

"You should have your rest," I said, reversing her lifelong admonition to me.

"As your father said, 'There's plenty of time for rest. Later, there's time for rest.'"

"Yes he always did say that. As I grow older I understand it more and more."

"Ruth, who marched so we could vote, the women, is so upset that a majority voted for him--I can't say his name--so many women that I am sure Wolf on TV is saying that if it wasn't for the women voting for him we would have Hillary. Not that she's such a bargain. But almost anything would be better. Even Mike Expense, the Vice President, who we all are hoping will become president. This person, Expense, who doesn't believe in women's health and is too religious for any of our tastes we are wishing for."

"I am hoping for the same thing. Maybe if there's an impeachment or . . ."

"We're both dreaming. The Republicans in Congress, who we know did not support him will keep him in office because he will sign anything they approve--health care, taxes, regulations, pollution and who knows what else."

"It's a long list."

"But, one of the girls, Rose reminds us things have been worse."

"How? He's been in office only two months, though it feels like years, so how can things already be worse?"

"She means in the past. When we and Negroes couldn't vote. They couldn't drink water here in Florida. They had their own colored fountains. We didn't have the Pill but we had world wars. We had Depression but didn't have Xanax for that." She paused to let me know she meant that to be funny. So I wouldn't worry more than I do about her mental capacities.

"And you are old enough to remember the gas chambers. We had family who survived Auschwitz. Cousin Malkie and her family who lived with Aunt Tanna and Uncle Eli when they escaped and came to Brooklyn. You heard those stories when you were seven years old. I tried to protect you from them but you insisted you wanted to know about the world. Even at its most evil. So I let you sit with us at the kitchen table while Malkie and her son, whose name I forgot but whose haunted look I will always remember, told us about the nightmare."

"I remember that. I also wanted to see the tattoos on their arms. I didn't want to be shielded from the worst that life could bring. But I know you felt otherwise and wanted me to have nothing but a happy childhood. One time you told me that was in part because of all the children who were forced to suffer. You wanted me to live for myself but also when I was old enough to try to do things that would make less fortunate children's lives better."

Recalling that I began softly to cry.

"I bring this up," she said, "because I want to remind you that Rose is right. Too many things were worse in the past. Not quite as much so for those who were blessed to be born here or came to America as hopeful immigrants and refugees. We survived and over time many things did get to be better."

"You always say this," I said, knowing I had come to Mt. Lebanon in large part to have her remind and reassure me about that.

"Of course, things here could get worse but worse than Pearl Harbor? Worse than the Cold War? The Depression? The lynchings? I could say more but I know you have to rush away."

"I have a little more time," I said, feeling a bit better, though not yet assured or optimistic, "So tell me whatever else is on your mind and making you and the Ladies so restless."

"This isn't enough?"

"But I thought you brought up the War and women to remind me not to get too overwrought with what is happening?"

"That's my attention. But, yes, there is something else that is very disturbing to us."

"Please tell me."

"You know your history better than we do so I'm sure you have examples."

"Of what?"

"About what I am going to tell you."

"Sorry."

"And it's not all his fault. Though he is the beneficiary of it."

"You're starting to lose me."

"The hate." I waited but she didn't continue.

"The hate?"

"I'll give you a for-instance. When they talk about health there is so much resentment, so much hate for poor and elderly people who will have it taken away from them. They talk as if it's about how much it costs the government but what we really hear is how much the Republicans--and it is them--feel it is people's fault that they are poor and need help. They say they are making the wrong choices about how they spend their money--as if they had so much. Did we hear this correctly--sometimes communications to where we are are not so good--that someone in Congress, Jascha Heifetz, said that if people had enough money to have a telephone . . ."

"Jason Chaffetz, from Utah."

"I don't have my hearing aids with me. But that's him. He said if they have money for those phones they could give them up and use the money to buy health insurance."

"I did hear that. He really did say that."

"In the meantime if so many millions lose insurance how many will die from that? Who was it who talked about death panels? This is like that. Worse."

"Congresswoman Michele Bachmann."

"Who was also running for president. But all this meanness and resentment about struggling people--about children and old people--is very sad and tells us what these Washington people really think. They are so full of anger and resentment and this makes it acceptable for him to say the ugly things he has for years been saying. About Obama, about women, about Negroes, about Mexicans. And what's really worse when he talks this way is that many of the people who support him, who are filled with fear and hate, want to hear this. They give him encouragement and permission to say the ugliest things. They cheer loudest when he does."

"There has been hate and fear at other times in our history, that's true. About the Irish and Italian and Jewish immigrants. And obviously black people. You experienced that when you were a young girl and woman. People are this way when there are hard economic times. And when . . ."

"I'm sorry to interrupt but whatever was or has been is no excuse."

"I agree."

"About that, by now, we should know better."

To that I had nothing to say.

"We're all gone now," my mother whispered, "There is no room left here for anyone else. All the places are filled. Everyone from the family is here. And the Ladies are scattered like leaves. Ruth to her daughter in New Jersey. It's so cold there. Ruth was always shivering. And Rose next to her beloved father also in Queens. In Mt. Hebron. Adele, poor thing, is by herself. She lost all her family in Russia and never married. Never had children or grandchildren. I love her so much. How she made such a good life for herself. The first woman to become a school principal in Brooklyn."

"She was remarkable," I said.

"I could talk all day, but I know it must be getting dark and they close the gates soon. And you don't like to drive after the sun is down. You were such a good driver," I noted the past tense, "When you would take me to the doctor or out for Chinese, I felt so secure. And now . . ." Her words trailed off. Her breathing slowed. I didn't want her to strain herself.

It was time for me to go. I was feeling better. If not about the state of the world about her and how loved and safe she still made me feel.

"And remember, as I always say, be sure to wear your sweater."

It was as if I could see her smiling.

August 11, 2015--Michele, Ma Belle

Knowing my obsession with Michele Bachmann and her pray-away-the-gay husband, knowing how disappointed I am that she is not running for president this time around, knowing that with the exception of Donald TRUMP the current candidates are not that funny (I only made it through an hour-and-a-half of last week's two-hour debate), my Virginia brother and sister-in-law sent me a piece from Salon about how Michele is gleeful about the nuclear deal the Obama administration recently struck with Iran because it foretells the beginning of End Times.

As Salon reported, in an interview on the evangelical radio show, Understanding the Times (get it--the Times), Michele Bachmann gushed that we should all feel very "privileged to live" in the End Times which are rapidly approaching "now that Obama's negotiating a nuclear deal with Iran."

She claimed that this accord fulfills the biblical prophecy from Zechariah 12:3--"On that day, when all the nations of the earth are against her, I will make Jerusalem an immovable rock for all the nations. All who try to move it will injure themselves."

The End Times are upon us, Michele revealed and "heaven's armies" are now advancing the cause. "The prophets longed to live this day. You and I are privileged to live in it."

The host of the show, Jan Markell, agreed. There "are consequences to doing things like this against God's covenant land [Israel], there are horrible consequences. You throw in other things such as the Supreme Court decision back in late June [about same-sex marriage] and a lot of other things--judgement is not just coming, judgment is already here."

It is only senators like Chuck Schumer," Bachmann sighed, who can forestall "God's wrath."

Here's where I get confused--

She cites Schumer (my mother used to call him Chuck Schmoozer) as the only one standing in the way of God's wrath, but aren't evangelicals looking forward to the End Times? Isn't that an essential step toward the emergence of the Antichrist (I know, he's already here in the person of Barack Obama), his reign, the Millennium, and ultimately the desired Last Judgement? So what's her problem? She should be ecstatic (etymologically literally) rather than bent out of political shape.

There's a solution--Michele, ma belle, it's not too late. The race is not over. In fact, no one is all that happy with the current field. The poll-topper, Donald TRUMP, has his theology all mixed up. When asked about his church going he admitted he doesn't attend that often. "When I go," he said, "I eat the little cracker." And though he's not impressed with the sacramental wine, he did admit he drinks "my little wine."

Think about how you could take him on. The discourse you two could engage in. For the rest of us, the two of you debating is almost too much to hope for.

Sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble.

April 23, 2015--The Rapture

Here's why we have to hope Michele Bachmann has a seat in the Republican clown car. Yes, we'll have The Donald and perhaps Herman Cain, but without her things will not be the same.

Here's why.

The Huffington Post reported the other day that in a radio interview with Jan Markell, host of End Times, the former congresswoman predicted that the Rapture is very near and it's all Barack Obama's fault.

The Rapture, as you know, is something many messianic Christians believe will mark the beginning of the End Times, Armageddon, the rule of the Antichrist, the destruction of nonbelievers, and after 1,000 years of violent suffering, the Second Coming of Christ, the Last Judgement, and God's eternal kingdom.

All this is Obama's fault?

I know some on the delusional fringe have called him the Antichrist, though with Hillary Clinton emerging as a possible president, some are now seeing her in that role. (Ironically, on these eschatological matters they appear to be able to view things in more gender neutral ways than most other issues.)

Bachmann laid out the case against Obama--it is all about his Middle East policies, especially his alleged mistreatment of Israel. She said: "If you look at the president's rhetoric, and if you look at his actions, everything he has done has been to cut the legs out of Israel and lift up the agenda of radical Islam." And thus because of him, “We need to realize how close this [countdown to End Time] clock is getting to the midnight hour.”

What she didn't spell out, but which is understood by Millennialists, is the requirement that all Jews return to Greater Israel, convert to Christianity, and through those actions set in motion the events that will lead to the Rapture and all that follows.

Those Jews who do not convert, alas, will be slaughtered. This unique role assigned to the Jews is why those who believe this are such strong supporters of Israel. It is not because Israel is the lone western democracy in the region. It is because of what the Jews and Israel must do to help bring about the ultimate Second Coming.

But here's what I do not understand--

Why, if these events are foretold and, to these believers, will intimately lead to Christ's return, the Last Judgement, their salvation, and the eternal Kingdom of God, why are Obama's polices, which are supposedly advancing their unfolding, a bad thing? Shouldn't Bachmann and those like her feel hopeful and thankful about what Obama is helping to bring about? Is the Rapture, which his policies are supposedly advancing, a bad thing or a good thing?

As I understand the Millennialists, the Rapture is a very much a good thing since it not only is the initial indication that End Times are coming but also true believers (and I assume this includes Michele and her pray-away-the-gay husband) would be Raptured. That is, at the very beginning of The End, they will be whisked up to heaven, leaving all and everything behind, including their neatly-stacked clothing and jewlery.

So I am confused--if Obama is playing such a crucial role in all of this, instead of excoriating him, shouldn't Bachmann and her co-believers be expressing their appreciation for all he is doing?

You see, then, why I am so eager for her to make another run at the presidency. It is only during the debates that all of this will get straightened out. Minimally, it would also be good for a few laughs.

March 13, 2105--GOP Clown Car Update

I'm so excited. It is reported that South Carolina senator Lindsey Graham is running for the GOP presidential nomination. That's the only explanation why he is spending so much time up in frozen New Hampshire.

If he actually enters the race, stay tuned for lots of laughs.

He is best known as John McCain's butt boy. Graham is rarely spotted except when half hidden behind or nestled near his idol, the 2008 Republican presidential candidate.

Like McCain he is prone to making bad jokes that reveal more truth about him--as Freud would suggest--than laughs.

Recall McCain's "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran" during his race against Barack Obama. He of course felt he was being pretty cool knocking off the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann." Many of the rest of us, though, thought he was semiconsciously tipping voters off about what he would do if elected.

In fact, McCain seems still to embrace this point of view. Incredibly, he was one of 47 GOP senators this week to sign an open letter to Iran's leadership, suggesting that unless they suspend their uranium enrichment program entirely these hawkish senators would ratchet up sanctions even more than at present or, if that failed, that they would press the military to bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran.

Graham went even further in his lame joke. He suggested that he endorsed a military coup d'etat. He really did.

In Concord, NH on Sunday he said--

Here is the first thing I would do if I were President of the United States: I wouldn't let Congress leave town until we fix this. [Sequestration budget cuts for the Pentagon] I would literally use the military to keep them in if I had to. We're not leaving town until we restore those defense cuts. We're not leaving town until we restore the intel cuts.

It elicited a few self-conscious chuckles but unleashed a bit of a tempest in the press. So much so that a Graham spokesperson had to walk his comments back, assuring us that he was joking.

If he wants to be president, he should try harder to discover a sense of humor or hire some better joke writers.

In the meantime, the clown car is set to take off. Thankfully it already contains Rick Perry, Chris Christie, Ben Carson, and, yes, The Donald. Now if we could only get Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann back on the stump, the next 12 months, with Lindsey in the mix, could be quite a riot.

January 20, 2105--Mitt Redux

Just as I was slipping into despair that my favorite sitcom would not return for another season--the Republican Clown Car--what with no Herman (Pokemon) Cain and no Michele (pray-away-the-gay) Bachmann, how would I spend the next two years? Stuck with House of Cards, Shark Tank, Dancing With the Stars, and God help me, Girls? I might even have to develop a taste, I moaned, for the Home Shopping Network.

But I can calm down. Things are beginning to shape up.

No only are Bachmann and Cain making noises that they might in fact run for the 2016 nomination but there is also Rand Paul (who looks like a clown), Ted Cruz (who looks like Joseph McCarthy), Jeb Bush (who looks like George W. Bush), Scott Walker and Paul Ryan (both of whom look like Eddie Munster from the Munsters), Chris Christie (who, in spite of his lap-band surgery, still looks like he belongs more in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade than the White House), Donald (you're fired) Trump, and who can forget Rick (love-the-new-glasses) Perry, especially if he's on the same meds he was using in 2012 when he reminded us that the American revolution occurred during the 16th century.

Then, of course, thank you Mitt Romney who is back for a third run. Etch-A-Sketch Mitt who this time around promises to run a campaign devoted to "lifting people out of poverty." The same Mitt who three years ago called this same 47 percent of the population "takers."

I'm sure some of his Republican opponents will remind us that this is the same out-of-touch Romney who drove to Canada with the family dog strapped to the roof of his car, offered to bet Perry $10,000 about his position on health care reform, and in his new zillion-dollar California house has an elevator for one of his wife's Cadillacs.

He may have been a gaff-prone candidate (I confess to looking forward to the inevitable new ones) but every poll of likely GOP voters shows him doing much better than even Jeb Bush when it comes to a potential race against Hillary Clinton.

If Mitt and the rest of the cast of the nomination-seeking candidates don't do it for you, there is also now a new rising star--African-American neurosurgeon Ben Carson who already has a long list of fun quotes, including a recent one that claims that "Obamacare is the worst thing since slavery."

It continues to amaze me how Republicans manage to find black politicians who are as regressive on race as their GOP country-club colleagues. It's clearly a comfort to the Fat Cats and the source of mid-winter amusement to me.

May 20, 2014--Veeps

Though the 2016 election is more than two years away, it is roaring ahead.

One would think that much needs to happen between now and then to fill out the field of candidates and for the campaign itself to unfold.

That's what one would think, especially since the incumbent president is constitutionally not permitted to run for reelection. Thus, four candidates need to be selected, presidential and vice presidential candidates for both parties. That usually involves endless machinations.

But this time around I can save potential candidates and you a lot of effort and expense by filling out with assurance at least three of the four slots.

Unfortunately, we will miss a vibrant Democratic party primary season since Hillary Clinton only needs to formally announce her intention to seek the presidency for the nomination to be summarily given to her.

There will thus be no "likable enough" moments nor Joe Biden ramblings. The only uncertainty will be who will be her running mate.

I can end that speculation right now--Hillary Clinton's vice presidential partner will be the mayor of San Antonio, Julian Castro or his identical twin, Congressman Joaquin Castro. Or, since no one can tell them apart, it could be both of them.

Democrats are fantasizing that red-state Texas has the potential to be flipped to become a blue state, virtually assuring Hillary's election to the presidency. So to have a Latino Texan as her running mate is  irresistible and inevitable. This is largely why President Obama is about to appoint him Housing Secretary. To beef up Castro's resumé

So that's two down, two nominations to go.

On the GOP side, though the presidential nominee will be either Rand Paul or, sorry, Mitt Romney,  we know that with cynical pandering equivalent to the Democrats', they too will choose an Hispanic VP candidate. In their case it will be Marco Rubio of purple-state Florida. If Republicans can win the stand-your-ground state (and appeal to maybe 35-40 percent of Latinos nationwide), they at least have a shot at defeating Hillary. But don't hold your breath.

Don't hold your breath because Marco, though Hispanic, is Cuban-American and being Cuban-American is not the same as being Mexican-America as is/are the Castros. In other words, all Latinos are not alike any more than all Asians.

But for those of us seeking entertainment from a out-of-control political contest, all is not lost.

If Herman Cain, Rick Perry, Donald Trump, and Chris Christie decide to seek the nomination, the GOP clown car will not be riderless nor humorless. And then, of course, there is the ongoing hope that Michele Bachmann will show up, dancing up a storm with her gay-curing husband.

May 12, 2014--Death Panels

Pretty much everything critics have said about the Affordable Care Act, Obamacare, has proven to be unsubstantiated.

First they claimed it would take people's freedom away. Is there any evidence of that?

Then they claimed it was unconstitutional--the mandate part. But the Supreme Court ruled otherwise.

After that critics asserted that few would sign up, especially young people. That too proved to be false. After debugging the Obamacare website, nearly 10 million signed up with more than a third of them young people.

So, the attack that it would cost taxpayers billions also turned out to be untrue. More political scatter shot. The healthier young pay for sicker older people. The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office has repeatedly demonstrated that because of this, Obamacare will not only not cost taxpayers billions but over time will actually save billions. Among other things, because they are insured, fewer people will use much more expensive emergency rooms.

When presented with the fact that nearly 10 million enrolled, Republicans said the numbers supplied by the administration were not to be trusted. But, as we now see, the numbers have held up, in fact, they have continued to creep up as more and more, again, especially young people sign up.

They'll sign up but won't pay for the insurance, we have been hearing. Well, that too turns out to be wrong. Almost 90 percent have already paid their premiums.

Not willing to stop attacking a program that conservatives continue to think is unpopular, they have taken again to saying that it won't work. People will not get good care, premiums will rise, and over time, people will drift away from the program.

In fairness it is too soon to know about this, but it is premature to see Obamacare failing; and, based on Republicans' track record of spin and outright lying, one has no reason to think this current criticism will turn out to be any more valid that all that has preceded it.

What about those death panels that demagogues such as Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann made careers for themselves by lying about? These too never materialized though a large percentage of the professional paranoid class still talk about them and thereby cynically pray on people's fears.

In fact, according to a recent study of the now universal health care program in Massachusetts, the death rate for those younger than 65 has fallen steadily since 2006 when then-governor Romney advocated it and signed it into law. Specifically, the death rate for those below 65 has fallen by more than three percent.

Since Obamacare is modelled on Romneycare we can expect to see similar results in a few years.

Ironically, the only death panels anyone has to fear are those metaphorical ones that are the result of not having universal health care.

In other words, if you do not have heath care insurance you are significantly more likely to die than those who are covered.

No death panels are needed to cause those deaths.

Thus far we haven't heard a word about this from Sarah or Michele.

Instead, it's now Benghazi 24/7.

March 31, 2014--The Republican Clown Car

As the 2016 presidential election season begins to boil, with Republican pretenders genuflecting before $40-billionaire Sheldon Adelson this past weekend in Las Vegas, how is this cycle's version of the GOP candidate Clown Car shaping up?

Literally and figuratively, thus far the biggest clown of all is Chris (Sergeant Schultz) Christie. As the most moderate hopeful (for example, he is less ferociously opposed to same-sex marriage than the competition), he showed up in Las Vegas to kiss Adelson's ring. But as a moderate he is the least favorite among the Tea Party wing of the party.

The other moderate, Jeb Bush, slightly more acceptable, met with Adelson but out of sight of the media, slipping into one of Sheldon's casinos through a back door. There is, after all, a limit to how much public groveling a son of Barbara Bush is willing to do.

But, sadly for late night comedians, and me, there do not as yet appear to be any Donald (you're fired) Trumps, Herman (Pokemon) Cains or Michele (my husband's a great dancer) Bachmanns on the horizon to liven things up. Maybe Newt (and Callista) will give it one more try. He at least can be amusing. And Rand (named for Ayn) Paul, who appears routinely to wear clown makeup and has funny hair will at least liven things up when he will inevitably be asked why he as a physician and a self-declared Libertarian opposes abortions even in the case of rape or incest.

But if it's going to be Jeb versus Scott Walker and Bobby Jindal and Marco Rubio, I'll be sticking with Dancing With the Stars and The Colbert Report for my entertainment.

There is, though, hope that Ted Cruz will get in the race. He does a mean imitation of Winston Churchill ("We will never surrender") and is a dead ringer for Joe McCarthy. So he should be good for a few gaffs and laughs. And, I almost forgot, there's Rick (high executioner) Perry. He can be a hoot, especially if he's high on pain medication.

But if you're wondering why so many run for the presidency even though they know in their hearts they have no chance, think money.

There's a fortune to be made out there by speaking for cash at all sorts of untra-conservative political, religious, and corporate events. Being on the record opposing everything about Obama is all that's needed. And celebrity. That's where to Clown Car comes in. It makes you a household name and as your Q Scores go up, so does your speaker's fee.

Remember during the last campaign how Mitt Romney's fees for talks of this kind in 2012 yielded a neat $375K, which he famously shrugged off as "not very much"?

Before running, Rick Santorum made literally nothing. He struggled to put food on the table for his wife and dozens of children. But then after being in the lead for the nomination for a week or two he saw his average fee soar to $100,000 an appearance. This is not a typo.

How much do you think Herman Cain made before also being ahead of the pack for a week? As we would say in my old neighborhood, that would be bupkiss. He now gets $25K for 40 minutes of standup and singing.

And as soon as Michele Bachmann's congressional term is over in December, she is expected to be paid at least $25,000 a pop.

Even old Ron Paul whose shirts and suits look like they were bought off the rack at Kmart is paid a whopping $50K per appearance. No need to practice medicine anymore or live in Galveston.

Sarah Plain, who has made tens of millions since running with John McCain in 2008, pockets more than $100,000 to show up and entertain. I don't know what Tina Fey commands.

Then there are the right-wing media celebrities who live off this circus. If you think that Dick (Romney-in-a-landslide) Morris is working at the checkout counter in Publix, think again. He "earns" $15-$20,000 a rant by spreading paranoia that Barack Obama is about to launch black helicopters to round us up and take away our guns and other "freedoms."

Endnote--In fairness, I should mention that Hillary gets an obscene $200,000 to talk about everything except Benghazi.

And, on a recent Bill O'Reilly Show, Herman Cain hinted he is giving serious consideration to running again in 2016. Please God.

August 1, 2013--Oscar Weiner?

Now they're trying to figure out why he did it. Anthony Weiner.

He had the world in his hands. Sorry, let me put that another way--he was a prominent member (sorry again) of Congress, on TV all the time since he was such a provocative and quotable guest, he weaseled his way into the extended Clinton family by marrying Hillary's number-one assistant and surrogate daughter, Huma Abadin, and he even had a decent change to be elected mayor of New York City. The field of 12 candidates was and is so weak that even someone like Anthony Weiner, in spite of his confessed proclivities, stood out. Again, let me rephrase that--he looked good by comparison.

So, what's the story with him?

Now, after Weiner was forced to acknowledge he was not cured of his propensity to talk dirty on the Internet, the New York Times, in an effort not to let go of such a titillating story, assembled a few therapists and asked them to speculate about why Anthony Weiner can't seem to stop.

Some said he can't stop being bad because he may have a neurological problem. It's either hard-wired in his DNA or he has some sort of abnormality in his brain.

But, most psychologists and experts on sexual behavior offered more interesting possibilities--

Maybe there's trouble in his marriage. He's not getting enough of whatever it is he needs at home. Poor Huma. It's always the wife's fault. She not only has been accused by Michele Bachmann and everyone on Fox News that she and her family are members of the Muslim Brotherhood, now it's her fault that hubby can't stop sending around raunchy pictures of himself (actually, only certain parts of himself) because she can't satisfy him.

Other shrinks suggest he may have feelings of inadequacy about his masculinity (hello) that can only be assuaged by women he has never met. Or maybe he is insecure about his body image and so he sends around beefy images of himself to see if anyone on the Internet finds him attractive. So far, it appears, that none have.

Cornell's Dr. Richard Friedman says, "There's a type of narcissism that's based on self-esteem problems, in which the person then defensively covers up by saying, 'Aren't I wonderful? Look at my beautiful organ [not the musical kind]. Isn't it beautiful?"

I say, "Ugh."

Dr. Friedman adds, "It's as if you were being exposed [his word, not mine] to the mental processes of a 9-year-old boy."

Maybe he's a sex addict, some speculate, even though there is no agreement in the field of sexuality that there is such a syndrome. Dr. Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and author of books on infidelity claims that behavior such as Weiner's, even in the face of public humiliation, is a "hallmark of addiction."

And it is not helpful to think that these problems derive from being famous. Dr. Carol Bernstein says that, "Very talented people have the same potential issues for self-destructive behavior that everybody does."

Though being well-know may have some advantages: the fact that his problems--whatever their cause--are so publicly known could actually help him to recover. There is evidence that getting caught being naughty and then universally scorned is powerful motivation to seek treatment.

With all due respect to the sexuality experts and psychiatrists, I have a simple explanation for Weiner's behavior--he's just a jerk.

Two more things--

Can't the New York Times find some experts on this tender subject who aren't Jewish?

And, related, as Anthony Weiner thinks about next steps in his life--since becoming NYC's mayor is no longer an option--shouldn't he have his nose fixed and also do something about that name?

Maybe Oscar Meyer?

Still too Jewish.

May 30, 2013--Dow Wow!

Though stocks gave back some of their gains yesterday, the Dow Jones Industrial Average is at an all time high. Even pessimistic bears on CNBC are looking less dour, even suggesting that maybe, just maybe this is not another blip or bubble but reflects a much stronger American economy.

Looking for explanations about the positive economic news, some are saying that U.S. investments are doing well because everywhere else--from Europe to Japan and China--things are heading in the opposite direction. South Americans, the French, Russian oligarchs, Middle East sheiks are all looking for safe havens, and America is pretty much it.

No one, of course, is giving Barack Obama any credit, even though the Dow has more than doubled during his watch; housing prices are dramatically rebounding; and Obamacare, though not yet fully rolled out, is already significantly cutting the cost of health care. And we know that if things were doing poorly here he would be getting all the blame He can't win for losing.

Thus I've been wondering again why this is true--why Obama (who has many leadership faults) is so vilified. Listen to late night talk radio if you want a taste of who is living under rocks. The stuff they spew is borderline seditious.

One reason is that he likes to be the smartest person in the room, especially when with Republican members of Congress. At those times there's not that much competition for who's brightest. You've got Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Paul Ryan, Michele Bachmann, and Barack Obama. Not much of a contest. But if Obama were really smart--I mean politically smart--he'd tone it down to see if there might be some way to get some things done.

And then they also know, in addition to rubbing their faces in their--how to put this--ignorance, he also can't stand them as individuals. He even hates having a very occasional drink or dinner with Republicans. To cite Maureen Dowd, he seems to be missing the "schmoozing gene."

He has those few people he likes and then there is everyone else. Being so obviously contemptuous of his congressional colleagues (including most Democrats) is a huge impediment to working together on some of our really big problems.

Then, of course, there is the problem that he's cool and they're not. Even their children and grandchildren think Obama is cool, and one can only imagine how that makes Mitch and company feel.  Old, cranky, out of touch. Not a good basis for a relationship.

Finally, there is the unspoken issue that probably for many in the GOP trumps all the others--Obama's otherness. His "foreignness," the way he grew up in Indonesia, and the fact that he's . . . black.

It's probably too late for Obama to mend any fences or forge a few good relationships--like the one he clearly has with his bromantic partner Chris Christie--but I would like to see him give it a try. For our sake or, if that is not sufficient motivation, for his place in history