February 26, 2014--Success

For some reason many people I know, of all ages, though mainly ones solidly middle-aged, have been talking about success--theirs--or lack thereof.

I've been thinking about it too and doing some reading, though, as a pretty-much retired person, in my case it is a retrospective look-back and conversation with myself.

Here's a little of what I've come up with. Some of it upsetting.

Since pretty much every society from global civilizations to isolated indigenous tribes, during all of recorded history, are organized in some sort of social hierarchy, success here, there, and everywhere, ancient and current, is linked to however distinctions are made within those tiered social structures.

Some value money and possessions more than others; some value wisdom more than youth and ambition; some reward spiritual vision more than physical prowess; while others select among those with the most of this kind of prowess when seeking, anointing, or following leaders.

Though what is valued varies this widely, and in even more ways, again in all instances and through all time, ultimately we find societies hierarchically structured with people in one way or another well aware of where they stand, where they are comparatively positioned, who is above them and, just as important, below.

Cultural anthropologists, especially those of an evolutionary bent, see the ways in which people are arranged in a society essential to survival and the very fact of universal hierarchies suggests that hierarchy itself is adaptive--essential to species survival. In other words, we have a better chance of surviving, thriving if we are arranged in social groups with clear distinctions among members. It makes us more formidable.

In most of the West it is thought, or necessary for our national narrative, that these social distinctions are not immutable (we do not, for example, believe in a caste system or see it to be "natural") and therefore there are opportunities for social mobility. Up and, alas, down. This, it is claimed, is in effect natural, based on natural social and cultural laws, perhaps socially constructed ones, but still having the force of "law."

Equally important in societies such as ours where there is the belief that the ultimate place one finds oneself in the social order is based more on merit than inheritance (though much economic theory sees heritability as a powerful predictor of one's ultimate status), in order for there to be social stability, people who do not achieve as much as they strive for, or feel qualified for, must come away reasonably reconciled to how well things turned out for them.

Here's where it gets complicated--the process of reconciliation.

If we live in a meritocracy and one does not "succeed," what is the explanation we tell ourselves when we wind up frustrated, with less than we hoped for, or felt we deserved? How do we reconcile ourselves to how things turned out for us when we are disappointed?

In conversations I have been having, I am finding a matrix of reconciliation behavior that troubles me.

Many tell me that they are less successful than they had hoped and (here's the disturbing part) are not doing as well as their talents, intelligence, hard work, ambition should in fairness have yielded. I am hearing a great deal about how unfair the process itself is--that if one did not go to the right schools, get the right advice, did not have the right parents, were not the right gender, ethnicity, age then things were rigged against them.

Further, even among people who I do know are not belief-driven, people who pride themselves, justifiably, in their ability to be rational and clear-thinking, I am hearing what sounds like a belief in destiny. I don't know what else to call it.

That, in a sense, things are not unfair or rigged but in many ways are predetermined. For some this takes a DNA path--geniuses are cited as examples to make the larger case. It is felt that DNA, not one's particular life circumstances, talents, efforts is destiny.

I see these merging explanations to be part of a reconciliation system in which one comes, often unhappily, to accept one's "lot in life" without having to take responsibility for one's ultimate "fate."

Things are either rigged or destined, the story goes, and since no matter what I do, no matter how worthy I am, there is no real chance that my ambitions can be realized or talents recognized. So, ultimately, why even try since these things are beyond my control and, here's the rub, responsibility.