April 7, 2014--C-Section

I thought I was hallucinating.

I'm a poor sleeper and when I wake up at 2:00 a.m. or 3:00 a.m., the Devil's Hour, to lull me back to sleep, I look for something boring to listen to on the radio, thinking it will act as a soporific.  It generally does.

I usually opt for sports talk because after 10 or 15 minutes of listening to arguments about this or that point guard or the contrasting coaching style of the March Madness final-four, I drift back to sleep and am then left with only upsetting dreams to interfere with my rest.

But early, very early this past Saturday morning was different.

At about 3:30, I got swept into listening to a conversation on CBS Sports Radio between the host, Marc Malusis, and his callers. It was about the New York Mets second baseman, Daniel Murphy, taking two days off to be with his wife as she gave birth to their first child. He missed two games of the new season and had been mercilessly attacked on-air for that by two hosts of New York's most-listened-to sports shows on WFAN--Boomer Esiason and Mike Francessa.

Forget that the players' contract with Major League Baseball allows missing up to three games of paternity leave each season and Murphy had sought and received permission from the team to be with his wife in Florida and had spoken about it with his teammates, all of whom seemed comfortable with his decision to be away Tuesday and Wednesday.

Unrepentant Francessa said he and the ballplayers were privileged to have unique jobs, make a lot of money, and therefore should not take any days off for personal reasons, even if they had the right to do so. Earlier, the bloviating Francessa had called Murphy's request to take a brief paternity leave a "gimmick" and a "scam." He proudly pointed out that he didn't miss his own show on the days when his wife gave birth, one time to twins, another time to their son. She conveniently and luckily for him did so an hour away from his studio and at times when his show was not on the air--one only can imagine what he would have done if she had gone into labor during Monday-to--Friday drive time.

Before apologizing, out of fear he would lose half his sponsors, Esiason had proclaimed that since Mrs. Murphy had a caesarian, she should have scheduled it before the season began so her husband wouldn't have had to miss a game. He said, "Murphy's wife should have had a C-section before the season started." He failed to note that hers was not scheduled but deemed necessary by her doctors after she began labor and the baby appeared unlikely to be born vaginally.

Knowing the macho ethic that permeates all of professional sports, I thought I was hallucinating early  Saturday morning when Malusis (himself a sometime host on WFAN) and every one of his exclusively male callers came to Murphy's defense and excoriated Esiason and Francessa. Every one.

A number of the callers spoke movingly about their own experiences being with their wives when they gave birth. They recounted how this was "the most meaningful day," how being able to be the first to hold their newborn sons and daughters gave meaning to their lives, how bonds were forged at those moments that have persisted for a lifetime.

I thought--How the times, wonderfully, have changed. Just a few years ago, I suspect, many of the callers would have supported Esiason and Francessa and how Murphy would have been condemned for "abandoning" his teammates. And that this was especially egregious considering he earns $5.7 million a year to play a children's game.

This doesn't get us all the way to the Promised Land, but represents one small step in a considerable amount of cultural shifting that has occurred quietly and under the radar for at least the past decade.