December 28, 2005--Just So Long As You Spell My Name Correctly
Say you’re Britney Spears and the last the public knows of you is that you were walking around LA barefoot and pregnant. And very pregnant at that. On the arm of your husband, or sperm donor, without an album for quite some time, much less one that went platimnum.
When we first met you, you declared you were going to wait until you married before you did it; then you proclaimed “I’m not so innocent.” As proof, we next heard from then boyfriend Justin Timberlake that you had indeed done it. So you ran off with a high school boyfriend and got married in Las Vegas, divorcing or annulling three days later. What next? Oblivion? Back to the trailer in Alabama?
Not so fast. The NY Times, which has not been known to be keeping close tabs on your career, much less your life, reported that you just filed a libel suit against Jann Wenner’s US Weekly, seeking $20 or $40 million, I forget just exactly how much, because the magazine published an article claiming you had made a Paris Hilton-style sex tape. That in itself is not the subject of the suit (everyone these days makes these kinds of tapes and makes sure they are widely circulated), rather you're pressing your claim because they wrote that when watching it with your estate-planning lawyer, for God knows what reason, you and hubby Kevin Federline had “acted goofy the whole time.” (See link below for Times article.)
Yes, Britney is suing the now 60 year-old Wenner (it has come to this) because his Zine called her “goofy.” Outrageous! Please, put me on that jury and I’ll vote not only guilt as charged but will be sure she gets $50 million!
Let’s acknowledge right away that this is not about the cash. Even with me on the jury, what jury in its right mind would find for the plaintiffs? So what then might be at work here? Could it be PR, the new currency of celebrity that trumps even money? US Weekly, when faced with the suit, shot right back, “Coming from a celebrity who sold pictures of both her wedding and her stepdaughter, it’s unlikely the issue here is privacy.” In case you are skeptical and don’t subscribe to People magazine, where you could have gotten a glimpse of the wedding cake and the bouquet toss, check out reruns of Chaotic, the Spears-Federline reality show on UPN, where most of the footage is of Britney and Kevin pawing each other. Not exactly reticent. Just boring.
But what do I know. I thought Paris might have been Yahoo’s most-searched name, but it turns out that it’s Britney. So at least it's good to know it will not be that difficult to come up with a jury of her peers.
When we first met you, you declared you were going to wait until you married before you did it; then you proclaimed “I’m not so innocent.” As proof, we next heard from then boyfriend Justin Timberlake that you had indeed done it. So you ran off with a high school boyfriend and got married in Las Vegas, divorcing or annulling three days later. What next? Oblivion? Back to the trailer in Alabama?
Not so fast. The NY Times, which has not been known to be keeping close tabs on your career, much less your life, reported that you just filed a libel suit against Jann Wenner’s US Weekly, seeking $20 or $40 million, I forget just exactly how much, because the magazine published an article claiming you had made a Paris Hilton-style sex tape. That in itself is not the subject of the suit (everyone these days makes these kinds of tapes and makes sure they are widely circulated), rather you're pressing your claim because they wrote that when watching it with your estate-planning lawyer, for God knows what reason, you and hubby Kevin Federline had “acted goofy the whole time.” (See link below for Times article.)
Yes, Britney is suing the now 60 year-old Wenner (it has come to this) because his Zine called her “goofy.” Outrageous! Please, put me on that jury and I’ll vote not only guilt as charged but will be sure she gets $50 million!
Let’s acknowledge right away that this is not about the cash. Even with me on the jury, what jury in its right mind would find for the plaintiffs? So what then might be at work here? Could it be PR, the new currency of celebrity that trumps even money? US Weekly, when faced with the suit, shot right back, “Coming from a celebrity who sold pictures of both her wedding and her stepdaughter, it’s unlikely the issue here is privacy.” In case you are skeptical and don’t subscribe to People magazine, where you could have gotten a glimpse of the wedding cake and the bouquet toss, check out reruns of Chaotic, the Spears-Federline reality show on UPN, where most of the footage is of Britney and Kevin pawing each other. Not exactly reticent. Just boring.
But what do I know. I thought Paris might have been Yahoo’s most-searched name, but it turns out that it’s Britney. So at least it's good to know it will not be that difficult to come up with a jury of her peers.
posted by Steven Zwerling at
6:07 PM
1 Comments:
Britney has created an epidemic. How about some of these names? Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton. They seem caught up in the crisis of their mid-career "what-do-I-do-next phase?" It's annoying to hear about these girls' problems, such as who they're dating or what kind of buffalo chicken they're consuming. I say, "Who cares!"
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home