August 1, 2006--"Bodily Forms"

It’s not just that the dollar is so weak against the Euro; it’s not just that it’s too hot here to even think about leaving my air conditioned room; and it’s not even too hot over there to give cause to cancel to visit Paris. No, there is still another reason not to go—the French in their own inimitable way have come up with a set of rules and regulations that ban topless sunbathing on the artificial beach they created along the Seine.

The Seine is hardly much of a substitute for the Rivera; but for those who can’t get out of town in August (and I thought it was just the very old who were left behind to literally die in their stifling flats while their children frolicked sur la plage) the so-called Paris-Plage, since it was created in 2002, has provided a little relief and at least a glimpse of what is being missed by those not able to get to the real thing.

The Parisian government and generous corporate sponsors have created this faux beach by trucking in 2,000 tons of sand and planting dozens of palm trees, right there along this urban river. The Plage this year even has a theme—Tahiti. There are simulated rain forests, Polynesian huts, Maori dancers, and native storytellers.

But still women (just women) are not allowed to sunbathe in this simulated paradise without their tops, displaying their "bodily forms."

The rules for proper behavior, officials say, is to provide security from “perverts and voyeurs” by emphasizing proper dress—no “indecent dress (nudity, thongs, monokinis, etc.).” (See NY Times article linked below.)

These same officials say that “This is a space of freedom, but if people want to see breasts, they should go to the Lido, or the Moulin Rouge.” This from the country where the full (as opposed to the mono-) bikini was invented 60 years ago. Named, by the way, for Bikini Island in the Pacific where America tested A Bombs.

But then again, if the thermometer hits a 100 today, you may find me headed for the airport. Destination? Nice!