September 6, 2008--The Ladies of Forest Trace: The Last Four Percent
All excited, my 100 year-old mother was on the phone. “Did you see Wolf last night?”
“Who?”
“Wolf Blitzer. All the girls love him. Bertha even thinks he’s Jewish.”
I
gnoring that, I said, “No, I missed him. But what’s up?”
“What were you doing? Watching the Yankees?” How did she know? “Aren’t they in last place? There’s an important election going on.”
Ignoring that too, I said, “Yes, mom, basically they are in last place. But to tell you the truth, what with Sarah Palin and the stock market I needed some distraction.”
“So, you didn’t hear what’s going on in Florida?” I admitted I didn’t.
“You know how we all feel that we’re responsible for George Bush. For electing him eight years ago because we didn’t fill out our ballots correctly.”
“I know, mom, we’ve talked about that many times. It wasn’t your fault. You and your friends were tricked. How could they expect elderly people to punch holes in the right places on those paper ballots? You have to stop feeling responsible.”
“Yes, I know, but half of us have hands that tremble so much that we had trouble punching holes in the right places. I’ll bet that half the girls wound up voting for Pat Buchanan. That anti-Semite.”
I had nothing to say to that. “But this time around it will be different. I have everyone filling out absentee ballots. That way I can check to see if they did them correctly. No one wants to make the same mistake again. Ruth says, and she’s almost as old as I am, that this is the most important election since we all voted for Roosevelt. Franklin,” she added with a chuckle, “Not Teddy. We’re not that old.”
“I know, mom, you told me that after being infatuated with Sarah Palin they came to realize that if she becomes our vice president we’ll be the laughing stock of the world.”
“Worse than that. They are now saying that if, God forbid, John McCain is elected, what will happen when he dies.”
“We don’t know that he’ll be dying during the next four . . .”
“Believe me darling, all of us here know from cancer. My dermatologist tells me that a man of his age who has had his kind of skin cancer is unlikely to live another five years. Recurrent melanoma. So that’s why we are all worried.”
“I am too. I’ve heard the same thing. But do you think, what with the stock market, that McCain and Palin are still leading in the polls?”
“That’s why I called you. To tell you what Wolf said. I knew you were probably watching baseball.” That again.
“Well, what did he say?”
“It was about Florida.”
“Florida?”
“Yes. About how because Bush won Florida twice he won the election.”
“Really only in 2000,” I corrected her.
“I know. I know. Be quiet for a moment and listen.” I held the receiver away from my ear but could still hear her. She was that excite she was almost shouting. “He says that Florida is now even in the polls. 48 to 48. And just last week McCain had a seven-point lead. Isn’t that good news?”
It was I said. Feeling so pessimistic about everything, including the Yankees, I had tuned out for the day. “If it’s true.”
“If Wolf said it’s true, believe me it’s true.” She continued, “If Obama continues to do so well he might win Florida. Wouldn’t that then mean he’ll be elected?”
“Could be. But it still feels unlikely to me. The Republicans there control the election process and the balloting. You know the kind of shenanigans they are capable of. And I don’t just mean with paper ballots and rigged voting machines. Remember how good they were the last two times keeping black people from turning out to vote.”
“But haven’t you been telling me that Obama has lawyers ready to be at every polling booth? That they will be looking over everyone’s shoulder to make sure things are kosher?”
I had been talking with her about how good his ground game has been. How it was so effective that that’s probably why he defeated Hillary Clinton. “I agree. He is mobilizing thousands of poll watchers and lawyers. For Florida and everywhere else.”
“But won’t his winning here depend on turnout? At dinner, that’s what Esther keeps saying. It’s all about the remaining four percent.”
“I think she’s right.”
“So what are you doing about it?”
“Me? Why, what do you mean?”
“I know you’ve been contributing money, which is good. He needs that. But what about other things?”
“I am planning to make telephone calls and of course I do write diaries for Kos.”
“With all do respects, darling, I never heard of Kos-Schmos, and how many people read those and how many of them are undecided?” That hurt. “You have lots of time now, now that you’re not working.”
“Well, I do have my writing.”
“You can do that from anywhere.”
“What are you driving at?” I was feeling defensive.
“Precisely that. Driving. Shouldn’t you be planning to come down here Election Day to drive voters to the polls?” In truth I hadn’t been thinking about that. “How many votes did Al Gore lose by? Was it 500?”
“About that.”
“And how will you feel this time if McCain wins Florida by the same small number?” I choked on that thought. “I still have my drivers license and I’m thinking about renting a car to take people to vote who don’t have cars.”
That prospect horrified me—my ancient mother, who is still basically perfect, but perfect for a 100 year-old—driving around in unfamiliar neighborhoods. Sally is thinking about doing the same thing.”
“Doesn’t she have Parkinson’s?”
“It’s in remission now. She remembers when women were first allowed to vote—so do I for that matter, I was 12 years old—and she is sure this is her last election and she wants to do all she can to see Obama gets elected. You remember she was for Hillary. All the girls were. But now she’s as much for Obama. So, what I’m saying, is that if we can do it, so can . . .”
She didn’t need to complete the thought. “I’m getting buzzed. There’s an important call I have to take. But promise me, mom, that you won’t be renting any cars. Sally is another story.”
“And?”
“
And, as soon as I take the other call, I’ll call AVIS and rent a van for November 4th. And I’ll get in touch with the Obama campaign in Broward County to see what I should do.”
“That’s my darling.”
With that I took the other call. It was my financial advisor. That also wasn’t going to be pleasant.
“Who?”
“Wolf Blitzer. All the girls love him. Bertha even thinks he’s Jewish.”
I
gnoring that, I said, “No, I missed him. But what’s up?”
“What were you doing? Watching the Yankees?” How did she know? “Aren’t they in last place? There’s an important election going on.”
Ignoring that too, I said, “Yes, mom, basically they are in last place. But to tell you the truth, what with Sarah Palin and the stock market I needed some distraction.”
“So, you didn’t hear what’s going on in Florida?” I admitted I didn’t.
“You know how we all feel that we’re responsible for George Bush. For electing him eight years ago because we didn’t fill out our ballots correctly.”
“I know, mom, we’ve talked about that many times. It wasn’t your fault. You and your friends were tricked. How could they expect elderly people to punch holes in the right places on those paper ballots? You have to stop feeling responsible.”
“Yes, I know, but half of us have hands that tremble so much that we had trouble punching holes in the right places. I’ll bet that half the girls wound up voting for Pat Buchanan. That anti-Semite.”
I had nothing to say to that. “But this time around it will be different. I have everyone filling out absentee ballots. That way I can check to see if they did them correctly. No one wants to make the same mistake again. Ruth says, and she’s almost as old as I am, that this is the most important election since we all voted for Roosevelt. Franklin,” she added with a chuckle, “Not Teddy. We’re not that old.”
“I know, mom, you told me that after being infatuated with Sarah Palin they came to realize that if she becomes our vice president we’ll be the laughing stock of the world.”
“Worse than that. They are now saying that if, God forbid, John McCain is elected, what will happen when he dies.”
“We don’t know that he’ll be dying during the next four . . .”
“Believe me darling, all of us here know from cancer. My dermatologist tells me that a man of his age who has had his kind of skin cancer is unlikely to live another five years. Recurrent melanoma. So that’s why we are all worried.”
“I am too. I’ve heard the same thing. But do you think, what with the stock market, that McCain and Palin are still leading in the polls?”
“That’s why I called you. To tell you what Wolf said. I knew you were probably watching baseball.” That again.
“Well, what did he say?”
“It was about Florida.”
“Florida?”
“Yes. About how because Bush won Florida twice he won the election.”
“Really only in 2000,” I corrected her.
“I know. I know. Be quiet for a moment and listen.” I held the receiver away from my ear but could still hear her. She was that excite she was almost shouting. “He says that Florida is now even in the polls. 48 to 48. And just last week McCain had a seven-point lead. Isn’t that good news?”
It was I said. Feeling so pessimistic about everything, including the Yankees, I had tuned out for the day. “If it’s true.”
“If Wolf said it’s true, believe me it’s true.” She continued, “If Obama continues to do so well he might win Florida. Wouldn’t that then mean he’ll be elected?”
“Could be. But it still feels unlikely to me. The Republicans there control the election process and the balloting. You know the kind of shenanigans they are capable of. And I don’t just mean with paper ballots and rigged voting machines. Remember how good they were the last two times keeping black people from turning out to vote.”
“But haven’t you been telling me that Obama has lawyers ready to be at every polling booth? That they will be looking over everyone’s shoulder to make sure things are kosher?”
I had been talking with her about how good his ground game has been. How it was so effective that that’s probably why he defeated Hillary Clinton. “I agree. He is mobilizing thousands of poll watchers and lawyers. For Florida and everywhere else.”
“But won’t his winning here depend on turnout? At dinner, that’s what Esther keeps saying. It’s all about the remaining four percent.”
“I think she’s right.”
“So what are you doing about it?”
“Me? Why, what do you mean?”
“I know you’ve been contributing money, which is good. He needs that. But what about other things?”
“I am planning to make telephone calls and of course I do write diaries for Kos.”
“With all do respects, darling, I never heard of Kos-Schmos, and how many people read those and how many of them are undecided?” That hurt. “You have lots of time now, now that you’re not working.”
“Well, I do have my writing.”
“You can do that from anywhere.”
“What are you driving at?” I was feeling defensive.
“Precisely that. Driving. Shouldn’t you be planning to come down here Election Day to drive voters to the polls?” In truth I hadn’t been thinking about that. “How many votes did Al Gore lose by? Was it 500?”
“About that.”
“And how will you feel this time if McCain wins Florida by the same small number?” I choked on that thought. “I still have my drivers license and I’m thinking about renting a car to take people to vote who don’t have cars.”
That prospect horrified me—my ancient mother, who is still basically perfect, but perfect for a 100 year-old—driving around in unfamiliar neighborhoods. Sally is thinking about doing the same thing.”
“Doesn’t she have Parkinson’s?”
“It’s in remission now. She remembers when women were first allowed to vote—so do I for that matter, I was 12 years old—and she is sure this is her last election and she wants to do all she can to see Obama gets elected. You remember she was for Hillary. All the girls were. But now she’s as much for Obama. So, what I’m saying, is that if we can do it, so can . . .”
She didn’t need to complete the thought. “I’m getting buzzed. There’s an important call I have to take. But promise me, mom, that you won’t be renting any cars. Sally is another story.”
“And?”
“
And, as soon as I take the other call, I’ll call AVIS and rent a van for November 4th. And I’ll get in touch with the Obama campaign in Broward County to see what I should do.”
“That’s my darling.”
With that I took the other call. It was my financial advisor. That also wasn’t going to be pleasant.
posted by Steven Zwerling at
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