January 14, 2011--The Whole Man

It has finally come to this—Procter & Gamble, manufacturers of Ivory Snow and Pampers, sponsors of legendary soap operas such as As the World Turns, is pitching its products to men. And in a unique way. Via a new Website called ManoftheHouse.com. Check it out. It is linked below.

P&G has figured out that there has been a sexual revolution and that this has not only provided more opportunities for women outside the home but has also meant that more man than in the past have taken on household responsibilities. Like helping with the wash. And so why not see if they can get men interested in Ivory Snow? (My own personal favorite.) Or even Pampers.
Yes, ManoftheHouse does have content about traditional homemaking matters such as"Dutch Oven Tips and Tricks" and "Sorting Collectables from Junk" and "How to Clean a Toilet in 30 Seconds Flat"; but it also includes some, well, raunchy stuff, like “Conquering Sex Problems.” It is after all the 21st century.

To help conquer those problems men are told, "If you want a hot woman who acts like a porno star in bed, you need to be prepared to spend some time getting her to that place." By this, of course, they mean the old foreplay and not buying your woman scanties from Victoria's Secret or accompanying her to get some private parts pierced. (For advice about that you need AskMen.com. More about this in a moment.)

And so, being me, I went right to the Relationships tab on the P&G Website to look for additional tips.

Currently there is "A VIrgin Reborn," a sort of clever title for advice for the recently divorced man about when to think about gettiing back into the sack. ManoftheHouse recommends--

Don't look for sex right away with a new woman. Remember that many women identify sex with a caring, long-term relationship. Unless that's what you want right now, rushing into a sexual relationship is a bad idea. Although it may feel safe and reassuring to replace your ex-wife with another woman in bed immediately, the fact is that most men need a transitional time. This means dating is fine but the heavy commitment sex brings to a new relationship may not be. Take some time to find out who you are first.

While discovering who you are, or if you can't wait to return to action, click on "Don't Speak (Too Much): What to Say When You Start Dating" and you will find--

There are a few things that can be a deal breaker when you start dating a woman. I'm not talking about your felony record or the collapse of your last marriage because you slept with your wife's best friend. These are simply some of the things you should avoid saying to her, at least while you're dating.

Some of the things they say to avoid include--

"I have a credit score of 355." You've just told this lady that you don't manage money well and that you'll never be able to buy a house or a new car. Keep your credit score and money problems to yourself. It's not about her digging for gold, it's about your perceived lack of accountability - a trait many women - most people- like in a person.

In case this kind of 1950s type of advice doesn't work for you, there is always AskMen.com. If "The Science of Flirting" sounds more like what you'd learn from Procter & Gamble, there is "The Players Top 5 Conquests," which is about as cynical as it gets. For example, here is how they recommend you seek to "conquer" women of a certain age--

The Older Woman

The Conquered

There are seemingly ageless women out there who can compete with ladies half their age. I remember one in particular: A 32-year-old bombshell that became the center of attention at a club. See, I was only 23 at the time -- a mere Player in training -- and the intimidation factor was high. The reason why older women can prove challenging is simply because of their experience, maturity and self-confidence. They also tend to believe younger guys don’t deserve their attention, simply because they don’t have much on the ball. The one I'm speaking of dismissed most every 20-something around her with that “you can’t handle me” demeanor. It’s not an easy approach.

Veni, Vidi, Vici

There’s only one thing you need to battle the age gap: Confidence with a capital “C.” It’s the one trait mature ladies will almost always respond to, provided you don’t trip over the fine line into cockiness. Cockiness is a huge turnoff for most women over the age of 30, but if you can master a simple confidence that conveys the correct message, some of the best sex in history is nigh. It will take some time, though, so prepare for a marathon rather than a sprint. The older woman requires more proof of a man’s quality and you just can’t rush that decision. Keep at her throughout the night and keep maintaining that outward calm but clear interest and indicate you’ve bagged your fair share of such quality.

As for me, I think I'll stick to the toilet cleaning tips.