August 3, 2018--The Donald, Jr.

"What is it Udai? Are you and your brother Qusai in trouble again? Here's twenty. Now go away."

"But Daddy . . ."

"Don't you see I'm busy. I'm trying to round up 150 thousand. That moron Cohen-Head tells me that bimbo what's-her-name insists on cash or a check or who-knows-what. He thinks I'm made of money. 

"I've had it with him. All he does is call me up to beg me to come to Passover or his kid's bar mitzvah. He thinks I'm Jewish like that gorgeous sister of yours. 

"And he mumbles all the time. I can't understand a word he says. He keeps telling me to talk slower and louder. He must be going deaf. Or you'd think he's trying to make a tape recording or something. What a jerk.

"I wish someone would shoot him already. Let's see if he really wants to take a bullet for me. One of these days I might just do it myself. And like I keep saying I could shoot someone and my people wouldn't blink an eye. My favorables would probably go through the roof. Like Reagan's or Lincoln's."

"But Daddy . . ."

"Didn't I tell you I'm busy? Here's another five. Take Qusai with you and go play in traffic."

"But Daddy I just got an email from some Russian woman lawyer--Natalia Vaseline or something. I never can pronounce their names. They're all Greek to me."

"To make a loan to us? They're rolling in it. We got a shit-load from Deutsche Bank. It's a regular Russian laundromat."

"It's not about money, it's about Hillary. They have dirt."

"What? What's this dirt business?"

"This lady lawyer said they had a lot of dirt on Hillary and her campaign and want to take a meeting with us--I don't mean with you but with me and Qusai and Jared and that weasel Manafort."

"What does she look like? You know some of those Russians . . . If you were a man I could tell you stories."

"We can always say it's about adopting Russian children. Nobody would care about that or want to know the specifics. Not even CNN."

"Remember--no collusion. And while you're at it see if they can get their hands on Hillary's server. And her 30,000 emails. See if they have any tapes of Clinton fooling around when he was in Moscow. He's there all the time making deals for their uranium and he likes the ladies. We could leak it to Hannity."

"I'll remember to ask. But are you sure we should meet with them because . . ."

"As long as I don't know about it. You see me winking? Remember no collusion." 

"I already forgot we talked."

"Good boy. Here's a hundred. Take Qusai out for a nice lunch."

Above--Saddam Hussein With Udai and Qusai