May 19, 2021--I Heard the News Today, Oh Boy

I was half asleep when Rona sat bolt upright in the bed and said--

"Why are you doing this to yourself? Every morning before the sun comes up you lie there listening to the same bad news over and over again." 

Rona said, "It reminds me of 9/11, how your mother sat glued to the TV, watching over and over again images of the planes that crashed into the towers of the World Trade Center.

"We called her in Florida to see how she was dealing with this horrific news."

I picked up the thread, "Sobbing softly, my mother said to us--"It's the end of the world."

"It's too soon to know," I said, "though more than half agreeing with her.

I recalled my mother saying, "The only thing I'm thankful for is that your father is no longer here. If he was still alive, this would kill him."

I said, "It's true. He had such a bleak view of human nature. Everything and everyone were evil. This attack on America would only confirm that he had good reasons to be so pessimistic."

On that day, my mother said. "I'm watching Wolf on the TV. I can see how much he is suffering."

"That wouldn't surprise me," I said.

"Are you watching?"

"We are," I said. I had switched to CNN to see what my mother was experiencing.

The three of us lapsed into silence.

"Are you listening to Wolf?" My mother asked. After another moment of silence, sounding even more distraught, she said, "I just saw them crash into the building."

In fact, the first explosions occurred more than a half hour earlier. "It's not about to crash." I said, "It already did. You're watching it on video tape."

"Here it comes," she said, ignoring me.

I let that pass, realizing that as she was approaching her hundredth birthday she wasn't noticing the distinction between live and recorded images. For her, every time they showed the crashes on tape, it was as if she was seeing them live for the first time.

"Why are you including my mother and 9/11 in this?" I asked Rona. She was by then fully awake.

"Because you're just like her. How many times during the past week have you seen that 14-story building in Gaza implode, killing dozens, including many children?"

"Dozens of times," I acknowledged.

"You wake up at 4 o'clock every morning and immediately turn on the TV, and then for hours proceed to watch the so-called news. You watch the same thing over and over as if you're seeing it for the first time. To you, like your mom, I'm certain it feels as if Israeli bombers attacked dozens of buildings, not just a few. A few is bad enough. But you make it much worse by watching  the same loop all morning, all day long."

Rona continued, "It's mesmorizing and you may not want to hear this but you're addicted to the news, especially bad news. You're making yourself crazy."

"It feels like I am,"I confessed."

"I love you and feel badly for you and think it might be time to increase your Zoloft."

"I agree," I said. "I'll ask my doctor."

Rona got out of bed and reached for the remote. With it she turned off the TV.

"I already feel a little better," I said.

"It's time to get over this," Rona said. Now smiling, "I don't want to wind up with you in the ER. You can make things better, much better for yourself. Especially if you could get unaddicted to the news. You might even be able to cut back on the Zoloft."

"In the meantime," I said, "I'll also cut back on Morning Joe and Rachel."