November 27, 2017--Duffer In Chief

During his campaign for the presidency, nominee Donald Trump repeatedly criticized Barak Obama for spending so much time on the golf course. Among other things, in dog-whistle terms, this meant black people are lazy.

Trump tweeted--

"Can you believe that, with all of the problems and difficulties facing the U.S., President Obama spent the day playing golf."

He also said that Obama "plays more golf than Tiger Woods." (More dog whistle.)


Then about himself, on the campaign trail, he said, "If I'm elected I'm going to be working for you. I'm not going to have time to play golf."

Well, the facts are that Obama didn't play his first round of golf until about the 100th day of being sworn in while Trump's first round, at his golf course in Palm Beach, occurred just two weeks after he was inaugurated. 


And this past weekend, again in residence at his Palm Beach pleasure palace (and for-profit private club), he played the 80th round of golf of his presidency. Since he had been in office just a little more than 300 days, 80 rounds means he golfed on 27 percent of them.

A few months ago when pressed to explain this blatant hypocrisy, he claimed he only plays golf with world and congressional leaders. In other words, rather than playing for fun he was working. Like his times on the tee with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. 

To be fair, there is some truth here--riding around in a golf cart with the likes of Abe or, twice each, senators Rand Paul and Lindsey Graham can not only be relaxing but productive. Deals can get struck. Like pressuring and flattering Lindsey to get him to vote to repeal Obamacare.

But in truth, the list of world leaders who have been Trump golfing companions includes only the Japanese prime minister. Neither President Xi of China nor German Chancellor Angela Merkel have taken divots with him. His companions have mostly been professional golfers, other athletes, and a few small-time business executives such as Mike Fasio, CEO of Prime Staffing, a New York based employment agency.

And what about his round of golf last Friday with Tiger Woods? How does this fit into Trump's golf/work paradigm? 

It's heard to imagine that Trump and Tiger conversed about tax reform (except perhaps to chuckle about how much each of these very wealthy men would see their taxes cut) or what to do about North Korea.

My sources tell me that they spoke about more personal issues--

The sort of thing two well-known ladies men discuss in the "locker room" or 19th hole--favorite places for such talk. That's how Trump tried to explain being caught on tape joking around with Billy Bush about how easy it is to get laid when you're a "star."

"So, Tiger," he might have said, "What's going on with you these days, and I'm not talking about your golf swing?" I can imagine a presidential wink.

"My back is feeling better," Tiger would say, "I'm hoping to get back in action soon." Imagine a Tiger wink.

"That means you haven't been getting any lately?" Continue to imagine winks.

"Not so much in person," Tiger likely said, "But I do like texting. I know you do too."

"I don't want to get caught like that Weiner--can you believe his name, by the way--or that loser congressman from Texas who just got exposed last week. Pardon the pun. Burton, Barton, I forget his name. What a bunch of losers. I'm so busy these days trying to concentrate on what's going on with that damn Congress and that low life Mueller that I haven't been able to get out much. Or watch most of my favorite TV shows. And every time I turn around Steve Bannon is on the phone or Ivanka wants me to do something for women."

"Been there, done that," Tiger would say. "These women won't leave you alone."

Trump would sigh, "You know what I said to that jerk relative of low-energy Jeb Bush, Billy whatever, about how easy it is to get women when you're famous? Can you imagine what I could be gettin' now that I'm president? Look what Kennedy and Johnson and Clinton got their hands on. All Democrats by the way. Or got into, if you know what I mean. I could use some of that. This is a hard job--they even wake you up in the middle of the night every time that short, fat guy shoots off a rocket. I wish Dennis Rodman could work out a deal with him so I could get some sleep. And everyone has their eyes on me. Can you believe that the Secret Service knows every time I have to take a leek?"

Tiger would say something commiserating. 

March 29, 2017--"Fore!"

Talk about alternative facts.

This time we're talking about golf but not about a situation where someone cheats on the course or about his score. Like what Bill Clinton used to do while duffing--assuming that because he was Commander in Chief, the most powerful man in the world, he could give himself Mulligans. For the non- aficionados, a Mulligan is a no-penalty extra shot after hitting one into the rough or lake. Some thought this was a metaphor about Clinton's character.

No, we're talking now about whether or not Donald Trump played any golf at all while weekending recently at Mar-a-Lago.

White House records show he spent seven hours at his own course, the Trump International Golf Club, but his spokespeople claimed he wasn't there to play. On the way back to Washington on Sunday, on Air Force One, when asked about his golf game, Trump fibbed, claiming that he played "very little."

This golf business is a very delicate matter.

Trump on the stump during the campaign frequently mocked Barak Obama's golfing, claiming that he was always on the golf course and off the case while America was going down the drain. Thus the need to make America Great Again.

Two months into his own presidency, with America in reality going down the drain, one can only imagine how much effort is being expended to obscure the truth about Trump's recreating. Especially  his golfing.

Though Barack Obama may have been obsessed with golf and took every opportunity to get in a round, his people never hid the fact that he was on the course and not at meetings. Most times they even told reporters who he was playing with.

Not Trump. Not only don't we know who was in his foursome but we don't know for certain if he played even though he was spotted at his club dressed in golf attire and wearing a golf glove. When pressed about his golfing he points out that he is not just having fun on the links but working while hitting slices into the woods. Like when he played a round with Japan's Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.

But talking about golf makes him uneasy because of how he savaged Obama for his golfing.

"I'm going to be working for you," he said last year at a rally in Virginia, "I'm not going to have time to go play golf."

But he is clearly making time for golf. As of March 25th, according to Golf News Net, he has already played 12 rounds while during the first two months of his presidency Obama played exactly zero times.

The presidency is an extraordinarily stressful job even for someone like Donald Trump who doesn't appear to be fully engaged. Even he deserves and needs some down time. Fair enough.

But there are other issues regarding his frequent trips to Palm Beach--for example, how much his weekending in Florida costs taxpayers.

It is estimated that each visit to Mar-a-Lago costs us $3.0 million. For Air Force One; the lodging, care, and feeding of Secret Service agents; reimbursements for Palm Beach police and first responders; and all the incidentals associated with a president out of the pocket and on the move.

Having already made five trips to Mar-a-Lago, this means he has run up $15 million in costs. His burn rate is such that he recently requested an additional $60 million to cover expenses projected for the rest of the fiscal year. This would offset the cost of his wife and son remaining behind in New York City (who can blame them), security for his globetrotting sons, and frequent getaways to Florida.

The Office of Management and Budget turned him down since they are in the middle of gutting programs including Meals On Wheels and are concerned about the appearance of a double standard--one for billionaire Trump, another for the rest of us.

On the other hand, after the clamor about his opulent lifestyle abates, expect to see the double standard at work.

Trump In the Rough