May 27, 2020--Mike Stevens: Empty Calendar Depression

Take a look at the email exchange I had recently with a good Maine friend, Mike Stevens. It's about, what else, aging. It begins with my note to him--

To Mike

Word filtered all the way to the Epicenter, New York City, that you have or had something with which I am all too familiar-- diverticulitis  I hope that for you it's in the past tense as I know it can be wicked unpleasant. And I hope you have been otherwise well and are enjoying the reemergence of spring.

Spring with the virus. 

I could take a pass on that combination. We all could. But in truth living here in New York City in a version of quarantine the past 3-4 months isn't so different from the way we normally live our lives. So for us, we are blessed, it has been more inconvenient than perilous. Though we have lost a few friends and family members. 

Illness and death thus feel pervasive even though we continue to feel well. It takes someone much smarter than me to figure it out, to make sense of it. Assuming that is in fact possible.

As I mentioned, I hope you are OK  and that you and Mary have been doing as well as possible.

We do not as yet have firm Maine plans. We had been hearing, though not universally, that as "people from away" we will not be welcomed. As we do not want to affront anyone, we have to think about the right way to make plans to live a version of our traditional Maine lives.

But we hope to figure it out. One thing that would certainly be nice would be the chance to see you both.

From Mike to Steven--

Hi Steven

    

Thanks for checking in.  It took a long time, but I am now recovered from the diverticulitis.  It was not fun!  I still find my energy level is a little low, but I am basically fine.

     

Like you two, Mary an I are finding we do not spend our days in ways that are terribly different from the usual.  We feel very fortunate to have such a pleasant place to stay at home in.  I do, though, complain a little about “empty calendar depression.”  

Usually I ask Mary each evening, “What’s on the calendar for tomorrow?”  She checks and often mentions a meeting or an appointment or a get-together with friends.  Now it’s always, “Nothing.” Hardly a reason to get up the next morning. 

    

Still, unlike you, we have lost no family members or friends to the virus, so we count ourselves lucky.  You have our sympathy.  I find myself yearning for someone who would unify us all in a time of mourning, but we seem sadly lacking in national leadership these days.

    

Out of staters are beginning to make their way back to Maine.  If you are willing to observe the governor’s request that you observe a two-week quarantine when you get here, I think you would be welcome. Year-round residents appreciate that effort.  

We would be happy to help by delivering groceries and any other necessary supplies to your house once you arrive.  We’re good at social distancing.

    

Again, thanks for being in touch.             

Peace!