December 31, 2020--Out On A Rail

The only people who almost as much as Melania want to see Trump ridden out of Washington on a rail are Mitch McConnell and Mike Pence. 

For different reasons. 

Melania hates Washington itself and longs to resume lazy lunches at the Plaza in New York with her girlfriends. She can't wait to begin to collect her pre-nup money. Just being with him she earned every million and now wants to enjoy it. 

She's been packed up for weeks ready to depart, fearing that her husband will figure out a way to have some entity--the Supreme Court, the Electoral College, the Proud Boys--overturn the results of the presidential election.

My advice to her? Keep packing and before making any lunch reservations, check to see if any of your old girlfriends are willing to be seen in public with you. (Ditto Jared and Evanka.)

Then there is Mitch.

For him it's not about issues he cares about (are there any?) or money or sex. It's about power and with Trump remaining in town McConnell will continue to be left to scrape for crumbs while being expected to continue to serve as enabler in chief.

He has his ideal job--since he was five-years old all precocious little Mitchy wanted was to be Minority Leader. Can you imagine? On the rare occasions he would join other kids on the streets of Sheffield, Alabama, where he spent his childhood years, they wanted to talk about the Crimson Tide while he read Article 1 of the Constitution to them. It is no surprise he was the last one to picked for a softball team. But only after all the girls were chosen.

So he's with Melania--

Then there is poor Mike. 

Pence was thrilled when Trump wasn't reelected. After four years of bondage he finally would be able to stand in places other then the shade of Trump's left shoulder. And finally get his 2014 campaign going. Tomorrow is not a day too soon with Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, and Ted Cruz stirring about, all but announced. 

More than anything else, though, what Pence wants is a Pence of his own. 

A mini-Pence willing to put up with big-Pence's incessant flexing, primping, and blow drying. And be OK delaying his own presidential aspirations. Willing to be Pence-Lite for eight more years.

I know this scenario is not as much fun as the old GOP clown car. But I'll take it.