May 25, 2021--Booby Head

I was at a meeting that included a colleague and friend. Half way into it there was a message for her. I saw her face drop as she read the note. It was time for a break and I asked her if she was all right.

"The guidance counselor at my six-year-old son's school wants me to call urgently." 

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Thanks," Becky said, "but it can wait until the end of the meeting."

"Really?" I said. She is inclined to be stoical and I was reluctant to press her to call. But in this case I thought it wise to do so. So I said, "Did the counselor say it was urgent?"

"Yes, but, they tend to overreact at his school. It's in western Connecticut, one of those suburban schools that cater to wealthy families. I get these kinds of messages from them all the time. Whenever there's a scratch."

"Really?" I said, "Why am I skeptical?"

"I'll call," she said, now sounding exasperated with me. 

 I went looking for her in the outer office after 10 minutes. "Well?" I said. She looked unusually upset. She wouldn't make eye contact. 

"What's going on?" 

"They want me to come pick Jack up. I think the counselor said he's being suspended from school."

"What? Suspended? How old is he again?"

"Just six."

"Has he been in trouble before?"

"He can be a little over exuberant. Nothing unusual. He's a typical six-year-old boy. But I need to leave. It takes an hour on the train to get there so I'd better get going."

Though I knew what she'd say--I could see the return of her familiar stoical look--"Do you want me to come with you?"

"I'll be fine and so will Jack. But thanks. I'll call you from the school when I know more."  

"Be sure you do." I gave her a quick hug as she raced toward Grand Central Station.

To tell the truth I didn't expect to hear from her.

I was wrong. She did call after two hours. She sounded exhausted.

"This you won't believe," she said, "They are suspending him. For four days and during those days they're requiring him to participate in a sexual harrasment workshop designed for kids his age and . . ."

"Hold on. Hold on. He's six?

"Yes."

"And what does he know from sexual harassment? Or anything sexual?"

Becky said, "Nothing. I mean I hope so."

"What 'crime' did he commit? What did they say he did?" 

"That he's been harassing a girl in his class"

"By doing what?"

She whispered, "By calling her booby-head."

I was incredulous. "I still don't know what he did to get himself suspended and put in a sexual harassment workshop."

"As I said, running around the classroom and calling that girl booby-head."

It finally dawned on me. "He used the word booby, with booby slang for breast. He's so young he could still be breast feeding." I tried to lighten the situation.

"That he isn't doing, "Becky said. I would know."

Jack did participate in the workshop. He came to think of it as hilarious. "They're all booby-heads," he told me after the first two sessions.

This is a true story from about 30 years ago. I'm not sure we've come such a long way.